Eyes Ever Opening - January 3rd, 2002 [entries|archive|tags|friends|userinfo]
The Madwoman of Menotomy
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date
January 3rd, 2002

More Bebe

Date and Time  - Jan. 3rd, 2002, 03:04 pm

Current Mood  - worried worried
Current Music  - Elvis Presley - Blue Suede Shoes

The biggest problem with Bebe, is she's so nice face-to-face. It's really hard to be mad at her while I'm actually talking to her. I just get the feeling I don't want to be mean. It makes it that much harder to complain about the vodka and the wine and her hogging of the telephone. I'm going to give her some more time.

There are other things I like about Bebe: She like Diamanda Galás, she's mostly vegetarian (she eats fish), she gets along with the cats, she's very cleanly, she's not freaked out by all my weirdnesses. She's not all bad.

I've had really bad roommates in the past. Roommates like Teddy who, after I got a restraining order against him, I found out had stabbed not one... not two... not three... but four of his ex-roommates. In addition to that he had two other restraining orders against him: one for beating his ex-wife over the head with a rocking chair, and the other from some guy who Teddy bought a used tv from at a yard sale.

Or roommates like Shawn, who ended up whoring himself for heroin and crystal meth out of the house. After he moved out for quite some time we got threatening calls from both drug dealers he ripped off and angry guys who's boyfriends Shawn gave crabs and/or syphilis to.

Compared to them, Bebe is from heaven. I'm afraid to rock the boat, and end up with another Teddy or Shawn.

The biggest worry I have right now about Bebe, is that she's lost her job and isn't looking for a new one. She just sits at home all day, drinking and talking on the phone. She paid her for this month by signing over a Christmas gift check from her brother. And with the amount of time she spends on the phone, I'm also worried about getting stuck with a huge phone bill. I know I'm probably being a bit paranoid, but this wouldn't be the first time I've gotten stuck with bills. All I can do right now is just wait and hope for the best.

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Room Still Messy

Date and Time  - Jan. 3rd, 2002, 03:37 pm

Current Mood  - contemplative contemplative
Current Music  - Lords of Acid - I Sit on Acid

I look around the playroom and see a cluttered mess. Being that the playroom is where I spend most of my time it's rather depressing. I think the playroom is an instrument of the cycle of depression. I am depressed, so I don't clean it. It is hopelessly messy so I get more depressed.

I think the mess and disorder of the room is symbolic of the mess and disorder of our mind. If I can motivate myself and actually clean the room, maybe that will help me symbolically clean up some of the disorder of my life.

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The Slippery Branch

Date and Time  - Jan. 3rd, 2002, 04:44 pm


The Slippery Branch

holding on
to a slippery branch
in the deep fog
should I try
to brave
the precarious climb
or should
I be content
just not to fall
farther down
into thorny briars
below


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