quiteodd came over around 5:00. I made her my curry alphabet cheese tomatoe soup. She really liked it.

After soup we went to the Lesbian Avengers meeting. I didn't speak much there or at the pizza gathering afterwards. I'm just not comfortable talking unscriptedly to large groups of people at once, especially when I don't know most of them. I'm too self-conscious (unless I'm drunk). So, I just sit quietly, observe, and nod occasionally.

In most sufficiently large groups, there will be a spectrum of people from extremely shy to extremely outgoing. In a large group setting, I tend to fall on the extremely shy end of the spectrum. (In groups of up to 3 or 4, I tend to be on the outgoing end of the spectrum, size of the group makes a big difference.)

This is not to mean that I don't enjoy going to the Avengers. I really do. I enjoy watching the more outgoing women interact. I enjoy learning about what's going on around town politically. I'm excited about getting involved in some of the Avenger's actions. Just because I'm not very active in the meetings doesn't mean I'm not planning to be very active outside of them.

Pizza went well, with only minimal ed issues popping up, and I was able to put those in the back of my mind.

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I simply can't believe yesterday was in February in New England. It got up to 60°F in Boston. 60! February! I'm going to say that again. 60! February! I still can't get over it.

I have never needed to wear prescription glasses. I started wearing optically neutral cat's eye glasses about two years ago, because I really liked the look. Now they're broken. Having worn glasses for quite a while, I find I am uncomfortable without them. Glasses put a barrier between me and the world. I like that. Since I broke my cat's eye glasses, I've been wearing an optically neutral pair of thick rimmed glasses. I don't like them as much as the cat's eye glasses, but they still compliment my look.

The issue that has come up with wearing optically neutral glasses is this: Am I insulting or mocking those who must wear glasses by wearing them when I don't have to? Is wearing optically neutral glasses akin to wearing a cast when one's arm isn't broken?

I've been thinking about those questions.

First, I don't think I'm insulting or mocking those that must wear glasses, because I don't wear them in such a manner to imply that glasses are unattractive or simply funny, I wear them because I find them fashionable and I like the self-perceived barrier effect.

The second question is the harder one. The difference between wearing optically neutral glasses and wearing an unnecessary cast is that one who wears an unnecessary cast is likely wearing it to solicit pity. Wearing glasses does not solicit pity, from anyone. Furthermore, many glasswearers use contact lenses, already blurring the line between those who require corrective lenses and those that don't.

I'm feeling much better now. Spent some time with purpleglitter. Talked on the phone with quiteodd. Read the incredibly supportive comments about my last post. Ate a few olives. Generally tried to relax and process today's session.

We're going to get a new therapist. I think it is a good idea to continue with therapy, I just don't think continuing with Anne is a good idea. Even if Anne was trying to help with her comment, to end the session by putting me in such an obviously bad state and then saying "Will I see you next week?" with a smirky grin was just bad form. I've lost much of the trust that's been built between us. I get enough shit from the world, I don't need it from our therapist. Tomorrow morning I will begin the search for a new therapist. However, I'm not quite sure where to start looking.

My sister, Bridgette, and her daughter are going to be coming to Boston in an week and half. I haven't seen my sister in over three years and I'll be meeting for the first time my 2 year old niece, Madeline (yes, my cat is named Madeleine, but we named the cat years before my niece was born).

I'm still not fully used to the idea of being an aunt. I don't feel like an aunt. Maybe I'm not used to it simply because I have yet to meet my niece.