Eyes Ever Opening - February 4th, 2004 [entries|archive|tags|friends|userinfo]
The Madwoman of Menotomy
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date
February 4th, 2004

Yesterday

Date and Time  - Feb. 4th, 2004, 12:45 pm

Current Mood  - mellow mellow
Current Music  - Cocteau Twins - Sugar Hiccup

Yesterday was interesting. I had fun with [info]merryperseis. We watched much Revolutionary Girl Utena, as planned. We also watched the Utena movie, which is like the series was condensed and mixed with LSD.

-----

I told my therapist things yesterday that I've never told any psych professional before. I told her just how tenuous my grip on reality is. How I'll have moments where reality completely goes away. The paradigm will completely shift. The rules of causality change. I usually snap out of it, but I'm afraid that one day I'll be stuck there. That I'll completely lose touch with reality forever.

I also told her there are times where no one can or will take front. Where I'm still conscious, but have no control of the body. I can only watch what happens as I lie motionless. This hasn't happened as much recently, but it happens. And it doesn't only happen when I wake for brief periods at night, which is something that is fairly common in the general population. It happens during the day, when I'm trying to interact with people, which is by far less common.

My therapist seemed concerned, but it all came out near the end of the session, so we will discuss it more next week.

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