i feel pulses of energy flowing through me
not bad
but annoying as i'm trying to sleep

i didn't sleep well last night
kept waking up from horrible dreams
now i'm twitchy
shaky
it's hard to think
it's hard to type
maybe i have gotten worse
maybe this is how i am without geodon
maybe this isn't withdrawals
maybe i'm really this bad
i feel panic and movement is limited
i'm tempted to take my geodon now
but i still want to wait and see

what if this doesn't go away
what if this is just how i am without geodon
i'm scared and tempted to take it
but i must find out

i ate some hot bible chips, and i feel better. in a little bit i'm going to try eating real food. see how much better that makes me feel. hopefully things will start to improve.

I think I can do this
I think I can make it
once i get through the withdrawals, i can see where i really am
then i can make a decision whether i want to take any geodon
and if so, how much
but even if it is unpleasant
if i could be able to cope
wouldn't it be better being who i really am
instead of a geodon zombie
if it is too unbearable being who i am, i guess i can go back to geodon and pretend that i don't exist
i don't want to do that, but i guess i might have to
scary
but i'm going to try not to
i'm going to try to exist

I've noticed my appetite has gone way down since I've stopped taking my Geodon. This is a good thing.