On the way home from the Super 88 today, I was chatting with purpleglitter about my walk to Lexington Center several months ago. I noted that the walk was easy until I got the the edge of Arlington and crossed over to Lexington, because in more densely populated Arlington there are a large number of landmarks and businesses that I am familiar with while Mass Ave in Lexington is mostly mundane single-family dwellings spaced apart with wide lawns. In Arlington I could keep easy track of how far I'd gone and how much farther I had to go. In Lexington I had no way to judge where I was and how far I had left to go. I had no feeling of progress, and the walk seemed like it would go on for ever. I became increasingly weary until finally the center came into view. In actuality I traveled less distance in Lexington, but without a gauge it seemed longer.

purpleglitter suggested that this could apply to my life as well, and that clicked. I don't feel like I'm going anywhere, and I don't entirely know what progress would look like. I want to work towards getting being able to get a job and have a function and productive non-work existence as well. It will be clear when I've gotten there, but I need to know that I'm making progress along the way or I simply become lost. The road, as in Lexington, becomes endless. I'm not talking about goals. Goals are good, but I'm more interested in landmarks. I need something along the line of "progress is when X occurs or when I have been constantly doing Y or when I no longer have problems with Z". Making a list of these things could be a very helpful exercise, because I may never make it to where I'm going if I never know where I am.