purpleglitter found me and brought me home
but I still don't know where I'm going
i don't want to go back to the hospital after last time
i think I'm going to have a drink instead

i know dragging it all on like this is evil
i am evil, truth be told
but the truth is never told
the truth is the shipworms
only becoming visible right before you sink

Two things make suicide a difficult decision for me: curiosity and fear of not being. Curiosity is straight forward, but fear of not being is a bit odd because not being is exactly what I want. However, I'm seeing more and more that both curiosity and fear of not being are foolish. Events will occur after I die regardless of when I die. I will eventually not be. If I'm not enjoying life, I will likely never enjoy life, and I am simply a burden on the world and those around me, I should not continue to live.

People tell me I should go back to the hospital. How the fuck are those fucking assholes supposed to help me? After last time, could anyone think I'm just going to fucking check myself in? Fucking no fucking way.

Lately I've become more and more like a wounded animal blinded by the pain. I'm not about to snap. It's already happened. I'm way the fuck past snapping.