isobel is dead.

I guess the stress was too much for Isobel. The daily putting of the medicine on her. she was showing signs of stress, but she kept eating. That's what the vet said to watch, to make sure she kept eating. She was looking a little ragged as the medicine had gotten on her flight feathers and made it a bit harder to fly, but she seemed to be getting better. I thought she was getting better. But now she's dead. Maybe I didn't take good enough care of her. I didn't always do the medicine the right way. I tried. I grew so attached to helping her heal. I thought I was doing good, but maybe my daily handling lead to the stress that caused her to die. Sometimes I'd forget to do the medicine and she'd covered up for the night and I'd have to take her out of the covers and put the medicine on her then. That would stress her out extramuch. I know that this is meant to be, that everything that happens is for a reason, and all that spiritual Universe stuff, but I still feel I failed her. I failed her like I failed madeleinecat.

I've added a Religion and Spirituality section to my website, and also added a link to the religion and spirituality tags on the top of my journal pages.

We placed Isobel in a small chest-shaped box that I've had for some time with a spray of millet and a wish pod. purpleglitter played Amazing Graze on the violin. After she was done playing we went down and laid Isobel to rest in the hollow tree out back that has come to be known as Aleister.

Good journey, Isobel.

As I laid Isobel to rest in the hollow tree named Aleister, I noticed that there is significantly more detritus in the hollows than there was in June. I also saw many broken acorn shells in those hollows today, presumably left by a squirrel who thought Aleister a good place to make a cache. In the fall the squirrel hid away in Aleister its harvest and in the winter the squirrel consumed in Aleister that which it hid, leaving behind the fragments of acorn shell which I found there. Both the filling of detritus and the evolvement of the winter hoard are signs of movement. They are signs of change, and change is life.

Aleister may have died in one sense, but it is still very much alive. And when Aleister becomes but a part of the soil, it will still live on and the new life that springs from that soil will carry Aleister's soul.

Isobel is also still part of this place. She has not left this existence, nor will she ever leave it. We never stop being part of the All, and in the All we are immortal. Death is not the end, it is simply a change. Change is life, and in that death is an act of living.