| Windowsill
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| Date and Time |
- | Feb. 19th, 2003, 03:17 pm | |
| Current Mood |
- |  indescribable | |
| Current Music |
- | Billie Holiday - Stormy Weather | |
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We have a new roommate. Moving in March 1 st. She came for to see the place Saturday and ended up staying the weekend. Then she got caught in the blizzard. She finally got out yesterday. She is perfect and the cast is now in place, we'll see what happens. ----- We've been very unstable lately. Very. Everything is moving too fast for me. Too many triggers. Too many memories. I've been very suicidal. ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) merryperseis took the Nyquil and sleeping pills I bought at Walgreens away from me. She also is now doling out my lorazepam. I'm not to be trusted around such things. At this moment I don't want to die, but I know that can change quickly. I probably should be locked up for my own good right now, but I won't let it happen. I don't want to be back in the hospital. ----- I've made a complete mess of my life over the past few years. A complete mess. Things have got to change. I've got to change. Maybe I should fade out. Fade away. I've thought about doing that. Things might be much easier for everyone. Right now, I'm curious. I want to see what happens now that the cast is assembled. The ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) house_of_clocks is ready. |
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| Comments: |
I've made a mess of my life, too, and something that's helping me is the Flylady's system. On the surface, it's about cleaning and organizing, but its core is getting over guilt for messing things up, so you're free to fix them. Maybe she could help you, even if it's just a little bit. :)
And blessing the world when you shake out your feather duster. :)
I don't have much continuity from who I was back in 2001. They merged, and then we fragmented again.
I'm glad I'm not her anymore.
What about your music, you're a natural. And you would hurt people by killing yourself. You are a person worth knowing, and have touched many lives. I wish you would see your own value. Try expressing yourself with your music, I think that would be an excellent medium for you. You don't need to fade away, a lot of people would be hurt if you did that. *hugs*. | |
