I was supposed to go to a party tonight. I didn't go. I became depressed and pessimistic. I imagined myself bored in the corner. No one really talking to me. It happens often at parties. If I get sufficiently drunk at a party, I end up not caring that no one wants to talk to me and talk to people anyway. Then I can have a bit of fun. But, I'm not drinking until my birthday.

This wouldn't matter as much if being more social wasn't one of my new year's goals. I need to find a way not to care when I'm sober. I'm far to timid for someone people don't want to approach. I need to find a non-alcoholic social lubricant.