Yesterday morning, purpleglitter and I got up early to pick up the two cutest English budgies. The rusty cage they were in sucked and there were two cats there were being allowed batting at their tail feathers, but the had each other and to their former owner's credit, they had insisted they not be separated in their craigslist ad. They are so obviously bonded, they are snuggled up against each other more often then they are not. We are calling them Statler and Waldorf.


( +1 )

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Statler and Waldorf home safe and sound, I had to head out to my endocrinology appointment, which went well. It is obvious that my endocrinologist is still not entirely comfortable with me being off psychiatric medication and not in therapy, even though it has been years and I'm doing fine. At least at this point she no longer suggests I go back to either. She did, however, suggest I see my primary care provider. I won't, I don't trust my pcp anymore. However, my endo let slip the name of a primary care doctor popular who is popular with her trannie patients that I'm going to check out switching to.

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After they got done taking my blood, I went over to see Ila. She has been teaching me Telugu script, though the words we've been going over have been Sanskrit. This week I need to practice writing conjunct consonants. I think the script is beautiful and am grateful for the opportunity to attempt to learn it. Ila seems to enjoy showing it to me — which is good, otherwise she probably wouldn't.

From the The Universal Household Assistant or What Every One Should Know (1884), posted at the request of kitsunekaboom

Ringworm — remedy for. — When the disease does not come from direct contagion, children are generally in a poor state of blood, and good living, sea air, and tonic medicines are of great benefit. The following application will frequently be found of much service: Wash the part effected with a little lemon juice; then rub in with the finger a little gunpowder which has been bruised in a mortar. Do this gently about twice a day. Be very careful not to make the skin sore.

From the The Universal Household Assistant or What Every One Should Know (1884):

Uterine Hemorrhage — unfailing cure. — sugar of lead, ten grains; ergot, ten grains; opium, three grains; ipecac, one grain; all pulverized, and well mixed. Dose, ten to twelve grains; given in a little honey or syrup.    In very bad cases after childbirth, it might be repeated in thirty minutes, or the dose increased to fifteen or eighteen grains; but in cases of rather profuse wasting, repeat it once at the end of three hours, or as the urgency of the case may require.    In every case of female debility make liberal use of iron, as the want of iron in the system is often the cause of the trouble. Mix fine iron filings with as much ground ginger. Dose, half a teaspoon three times daily in a little honey or molasses, increasing or lessening the dose to produce a blackness of the stools. Continue this course until well.

Do not try this at home.

Going through my one of my cavernous closets, I found my wisdom teeth I had taken out in the late 1990's. They look a bit old, and the crusted blood has turned to a greyish powder. I had my wisdom teeth out the same time docbrite had theirs out, and being the bizarre goth thing I was I sent them what must have been a very creepy email with a picture of me, a picture of my teeth, and an offer to swap teeth. Of course, I never received a reply.

I found many other things as well. An old valentine from purpleglitter, a mid-nineties mac powerbook named "Like Butta", various mementos, a picnic basket, two air conditioners (one alive, one dead), ancient sheet music, seeds, and just too much interesting, strange, and downright random stuff to make a list here. I wonder what I'll find when I really begin to plunge into the depths.

Is God benevolent or malevolent? Does God love us? Is God wrathful?

These questions are fitting to ask of some man with a flowing grey beard that lives in the sky, but they are unanswerable as to God as All.

God is not only the sky above and the ground below and all that dwells in those places. God is not only everything we can touch, God is more.

God is all creation all destruction. God is life and and God is death. God is the bleeding wound and the passionate kiss. God is the roar as well as the silence.

God is all beliefs and doubts. God not just the concept of heaven and hell, but the concept that there is an above and below. God is the ideas we think as well as the air we breathe.

God is all emotions. God is all love and all hate. God is all benevolence and all malevolence. God is all wrath and all forgiveness.

God is our mathematics and our law. Our fears and our courage. Our arts, our poetries, our languages and the metaphors behind them. The truth as well as the lie.

God is energy and matter. God is the motion of the falling rock as well as the rock that falls.

God is the Happening that is the Becoming. God is what was, will be, and has been. God is even that which is not, has not been, and will never be; if what is not, has not been, and will never be is but thought.

God is the All of Everything, the Universe of Universes. This is why there can be nothing greater than God. No threat needed, no coercion. There can be none greater than All that Is, because anything else is simply part of the Everything.

I was supposed to see dicotomygrrl tonight. Just before she was due to arrive, I received a panicked phonecall from purpleglitter. Dandelion's food was hurt and there was lots of blood. I ran over to purpleglitter's house with my shoes in my hand, not even taking time to put them on until we had already loaded Dandelion in the car and were heading off to Angell Memorial Hospital.

Prior to calling me, purpleglitter had put styptic powder on Dandelion, so the bleeding had stopped. He appeared to be doing well and half way there we questioned if he needed to go, but we decided it was best that he see a vet anyway just in case.

Even in the strange situation, rushed out in the night, Dandelion still did step ups for the attending vet. When the vet asked if he was flighted he took off from his finger as if to say "Of course I can fly".

He got right onto my finger and I scooped him up and handed him to the vet. He is a brave bird. The vet took him in back to the "exotics" ward. Dandelion was a bit shaken when he returned, but I gave him good scritches while the vet looked for Dandelion's records and he calmed down.

He apparently got his toenail caught in something and it broke off. It looks like he'll be alright.

I made some more icons for purpleglitter's current project: A God Among Men: David Hasselhoff Shrine. As before, I have decided to share them here as well.

    

    

I've heard a lot of talk around about the hatefulness of Zacarias Moussaoui's testimony at his death penalty trial. It angers and upsets many Americans, especially families of the September 11 victims. And rightfully so.

Us Americans, however, should turn that mirror on ourselves and see that the often equally hateful rhetoric spewed by American politicians and media personalities and even web critics might make people in the Arab world react similarly to how we react to Moussaoui, especially given the orders of magnitude more civilians that have died as a result of the Iraq conflict than died in the September 11 attacks.

Perhaps us Americans should reflect about ourselves what one CNN talking head did about Zacarias Moussaoui, "What motivates such hatred?". The cycle of violence must end. Blood for blood only leads to blood for the blood that was taken for blood.

There are things that I try to say. Things that cannot be said because for such things there can be no words. Many people will therefore find much of what I say nonsensical. I am by far not the only one who sees these things, I am just one of those who is foolish enough to attempt to speak them.

I talk of demons and of angels and of monsters and of God. I remember the walls stained with blood and I know where the devil lives. I have wandered between the dreaming and waking to where I could no longer distinguish one from the other. I am friends with færies and do business with ghosts. I have walked the asylums and tasted their zombie potions. I do not speak in the polite language of the day. I am mad, of course. And that is that.

Just got back from the vet. Skye has been having trouble using her left foot for the last week or so. The vet said that the foot is not in pain and is not injured. The problem, she said, is nuerological. The two likely causes are a kidney tumor pressing on the nerve or lead exposure. She took a blood test to for lead and the results will be back tomorrow. That seems the most likely cause at this point, and it is also the most treatable. Skye did very good at the vet and remained calm the whole time. I'm very impressed with her.

The blood from my nose looks like a beautiful sunset on my napkin.

sophiaserpentia's post on the meaning of oppression triggered a realization for me. I agree with the premise of the post. Oppression is a societal manifestation as opposed to things such as discrimination and exploitation, which are person. While both the oppressed and the oppressors can discriminate and exploit others, there is a strong difference between prejudice and discrimination in word and action committed by a member of an oppressed group toward their oppressor group and prejudice and discrimination in word and action committed by a member of an oppressor group toward those a member of an oppressed group. To paraphrase sophiaserpentia, the difference is that at the end of the day the members of the oppressor group still have the rights, privileges, and entitlements in society that the members of the oppressed group does not.

While the anger members of an oppressed group feel toward their oppressors is real and legitimate, the danger with hateful rhetoric and action of the oppressed toward the oppressor lies not in the now but in the future where the formerly oppressed may have overcome their oppressors. The hateful rhetoric becomes dogma combined with their newfound privilege and power make it all too easy for them to then become oppressors. The old words then become justifications for the new oppressive paradigm.

For example, the early Christians were outcasts from and generally hated by the Jewish community where their religion drew its roots and they were harshly oppressed by the Pagans that ruled the Roman Empire. Their early words against the Jews and the Pagans could not be seen as oppressing either group at that time, because the Christians did not have the power and privilege to oppress. But the words became cannon and when the Christians gained that power and privilege, the words drew blood.

In the past I have not tempered my words against those I see as oppressors because I was not thinking of the future. That is a sort of blindness, as who else is such a struggle for, but for those who will come after? The future is just as real and our actions now will set in motion the events of lives we will never see. Politics that neglect the people in the future, neglect that the politics of now will be what the politics of the future are based upon. And it neglects that those people in that future are just as important as those who are here now.

gacked from lady_babalon and sophiaserpentia:

"Jesus merely raised one hand a few inches and a yawning chasm opened in the earth, stretching far and wide enough to swallow all of them. They tumbled in, howling and screeching, but their wailing was soon quashed and all was silent when the earth closed itself again." "The best thing about the Left Behind books is the way the non-Christians get their guts pulled out by God." -- 15-year-old fundamentalist fan of the Left Behind series-- From Glorious Appearing by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins That is the sophisticated language and appeal of America's all-time best selling adult novels celebrating the ethnic cleansing of non-Christians at the hands of Christ. If a Muslim were to write an Islamic version of the last book in the Left Behind series, Glorious Appearing, and publish it across the Middle East, Americans would go berserk. Yet tens of millions of Christians eagerly await and celebrate an End Time when everyone who disagrees with them will be murdered in ways that make Islamic beheading look like a bridal shower. Jesus -- who apparently has a much nastier streak than we have been led to believe -- merely speaks and "the bodies of the enemy are ripped wide open down the middle." In the book Christians have to drive carefully to avoid "hitting splayed and filleted corpses of men and women and horses," even as the riders' tongues are melting in their mouths and they are being wide-open gutted by God's own hand, the poor damned horses are getting the same treatment. Sort of a divinely inspired version of "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on." This may be some of the bloodiest hate fiction ever published, but it is also what tens of millions of Americans believe is God's will. full story

These people are dangerous. Very very dangerous. They have money, numbers, and power. They are the reason that silence is not an option. Those still capable of free and intelligent thought need to get these people out of power before we are all fighting the in the right wing's homegrown version of Armageddon.

I will probably be okay.

( However... (TMI) )

I posted these two icons quite a while ago to creepy_icons and darkicons. I didn't post them here because I thought they might be too disturbing some of the readers of my journal. However, I have decided to go ahead and post.

    

i want to bleed across the sky
i want to fall to the depths of hell
i want to burst into flame
i want to cry alone in the dark

Poll #359608
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

Do you like the smell of blood?