Yesterday morning, purpleglitter and I got up early to pick up the two cutest English budgies. The rusty cage they were in sucked and there were two cats there were being allowed batting at their tail feathers, but the had each other and to their former owner's credit, they had insisted they not be separated in their craigslist ad. They are so obviously bonded, they are snuggled up against each other more often then they are not. We are calling them Statler and Waldorf.


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Statler and Waldorf home safe and sound, I had to head out to my endocrinology appointment, which went well. It is obvious that my endocrinologist is still not entirely comfortable with me being off psychiatric medication and not in therapy, even though it has been years and I'm doing fine. At least at this point she no longer suggests I go back to either. She did, however, suggest I see my primary care provider. I won't, I don't trust my pcp anymore. However, my endo let slip the name of a primary care doctor popular who is popular with her trannie patients that I'm going to check out switching to.

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After they got done taking my blood, I went over to see Ila. She has been teaching me Telugu script, though the words we've been going over have been Sanskrit. This week I need to practice writing conjunct consonants. I think the script is beautiful and am grateful for the opportunity to attempt to learn it. Ila seems to enjoy showing it to me — which is good, otherwise she probably wouldn't.

Prince Henry's test results came back yesterday, and he got a clean bill of health. He got to fly with everyone else for the first time. Sir Dubbins freaked out and had to go back to his cage, but the budgies didn't seem mind him much. None of the budgies approached him too closely, but it was evident Skye wanted to. We're not going to have Prince Henry and Sir Dubbins out at the same time until they get a little more used to the idea of each other.

I went to a equinox dinner yesterday at lady_babalon's and sophiaserpentia's. I must say that sophiaserpentia makes the most excellent apple crisps. I was happy to see that x_bluerose_x was there to. We sat around the table and discussed what we viewed as our "harvests" this year, however I'm more planning for the spring then harvesting now. Of course, there were other topics, but that was the planned topic. I wish I could have stayed longer, but I had fun while I was there.

After leaving the equinox dinner, I went over to merryperseis's place, where I ate again. I knew that we would be having roasted cauliflower, so I intentionally ate sparingly at the early dinner. I brought her my serpent staff. I've known that my bird staff is what I'm meant to use at this point, and merryperseis told me she needed something that symbolized a serpent: so the transfer seemed right. I wanted to do it on the equinox for balance. There wasn't really any ceremony about the transfer, it was just done.

My temper has been showing through again lately. I need to reign it in. That needs to be a goal. A new meditation regimen is in order. purpleglitter thinks that the hormone imbalance my endocrinologist noted may be causing some of my moodiness. Perhaps, but that is no excuse. Must calm my mind. Must seek center again.

I saw my endocrinologist last night. My testosterone levels are a bit too high, however my estrogen levels are high as well. She thinks that another delivery system for the estrogen will help better. She wanted to give me a cream that absorbs through the skin, but my insurance won't cover it. Instead I will be getting injectable estrogen. I'm going to have to learn how to give myself shots. I need to find a pharmacy that carries the prescription, as Walgreens does not. I'll still be talking my estradiol until I meet with a nurse to instruct me on how to give myself the shots.

Information on the enforcement of New York's "Kendra's Law" as of April 1, 2005, from the NYCLU:

Racial Bias: 42% of IOC (Involuntary Outpatient Commitment) order recipients are Black. 34% of IOC order recipients are White. 21% are Hispanic. Black people are almost five times as likely as White people to be the recipients of IOC orders. Hispanic people are two and a half times as likely as non-Hispanic White people to be the recipients of IOC orders. Geographical Bias: New York City (5 counties or boroughs) 3,078 orders. Nassau County 165 orders. Suffolk County 254 orders. 41 other counties combined 547. 14 counties have entered no orders. People who live in New York City are more than four times as likely to be the recipients of IOC orders as people living in the rest of the state. Loss of Rights: People with multiple psychiatric hospitalizations, but no histories of hurting others, are the primary recipients of IOC orders. 88% of those orders direct a medication regimen. 75% of those orders direct participation in individual and/or group therapy. 40% of those orders direct participation in substance abuse programs. 37% of those orders direct participation in blood or urine testing. 31% of those orders direct participation in specific housing or housing support services. 22% of those orders direct participation in specific day program services.

Skye's lead test came back normal, meaning lead exposure is not the cause of her foot paralysis. It seems the two most likely causes now are a tumor or damage done due to possible egg binding. Either way, we'll likely find out tomorrow after her x-rays are done. She'll have to be knocked out for the x-rays, but she should be fine with that as the vet said other than her foot she is in excellent health.

I'm very worried about poor Skye. I don't think anything bad should happen to budgies ever.

Dilly is helping take care of Skye. He is such a good budgie and loves her so. I'm very impressed with him. We all love Skye. Skye is a pretty budgie bird.

Just got back from the vet. Skye has been having trouble using her left foot for the last week or so. The vet said that the foot is not in pain and is not injured. The problem, she said, is nuerological. The two likely causes are a kidney tumor pressing on the nerve or lead exposure. She took a blood test to for lead and the results will be back tomorrow. That seems the most likely cause at this point, and it is also the most treatable. Skye did very good at the vet and remained calm the whole time. I'm very impressed with her.

I forgot to mention, I got the results of my blood tests back a couple days ago. Normal/Negative on everything. Good to know that I'm probably clean in regards to AIDS & Co. (I do need to get tested again in 6 months to know for sure), But, I was hoping they'd also shed some light on my dizzy spells and siezures. I guess I'll have to wait to see the neurologist in Febuary for that.

My therapist said she was very proud of me for making through the snow storm. I explained that I had decided I wouldn't kill myself before the snow started. I wanted to be here for the people I love. And I wanted to be here so I can help people.

We talked a lot about Krystal. About how I still care for her despite everything, but I'll probably never have contact with her again. My therapist says she's going to help me find ways to help people in a more healthy manner than what went on with Krystal.

The general tenor of therapy today was sad, but good. I think we covered a lot of ground. My therapist wants me to print out and bring in relevant posts from my livejournal, which I'm more than happy to do.

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After therapy, I got my blood drawn for a battery of tests including AIDS and Hepatitis B & C. Hopefully my blood tests will come back good. I'll know in a couple weeks.

I just got back from seeing my doctor. Got a flu shot. I have to go back tomorrow for some bloodwork as the phlebotomist was out today. If I test negative for hep B shot, I'm going to get a hep B. I also have a referral to a neurologist for my dizzy spells/seizures.

While the doc says that I'll probably still be leaving tomorrow, they are considering keeping me all winter, and if I come back here again in the near future, I will probably end up spending the winter here.

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More results have come back on my blood work. I am deficient in vitamin b₁₂. Quite deficient. They are going to give me a b₁₂ shot later today. My dad says b₁₂ shots are very good and give you lots of energy for weeks, so I'm looking forward to my shot and to getting out tomorrow.

posted by merryperseis

My blood work came back from when I was admitted. Apparently, I have a low red blood cell count. Which means I may be anemic. Which may explain why my dizzy spells have gotten worse lately. They're running more tests on my blood and want me to go to my primary care physican about this when I get out. Of course, the blood cell count could just be an anomaly.

The psychologist on the green team here (all the staff are divided into the blue team and the green team and the patients are put into one of the teams) says they're shooting for Thursday as my release date. She said shorter stays work best for people like me (whatever that means). And that longer stays can actually make it harder for people like me to readjust to daily life.

posted by purpleglitter

merryperseis and I were heading to an anime showing at MIT, when my brain froze up in Porter Square. This would have been a minor inconvenience if a police officer didn't see me twitching on the ground. He called in an ambulance and off to the emergency room I was swept. They kept me there for several hours asking me questions about how often I have "seizures". I told them I have them every day, but I didn't know if I'd call them "seizures". My mind locks up. I dissociate. I freeze. I twitch. It happens. After my bloodwork came back all good, they let me go. I feel bad about spoiling merrryperseis's birthday night out, but she appears not to be perturbed. That makes me feel better.