zarthon came over last night. He brought me a nip of After Shock. I'd never had After Shock before. I really liked it. Very strange concoction. I really liked chiseling the candy off the bottom.

purpleglitter, zarthon, merryperseis, and I played 4 player Boggle. As normal, merrypersies kicked everyone's ass.

After zarthon left, purpleglitter and I had some gut wrenching conversations. I wanted to kill myself at many points, but thought that would be manipulative, so I didn't. purpleglitter and I are doing better today. We talked in much more pleasant tones in the morning and over AIM.

-----

About 15 minutes ago, Mount Auburn Hospital called. They had previously told me that they couldn't offer me outpatient services. For some reason, they changed their minds and set up an appointment. I see a pdoc on July 2^nd. And the pdoc is going to set me up with a therapist. I know that I'm dubious about going back to therapy, but at least right now it offers the only hope that things are going to improve. A dim hope, but a hope none the less. It's an excuse to try not to jump the Red Line until I've seen that it doesn't work.

Went to the Diesel Café last night, expecting GenderPlay, but there was no one there for it. Luckily I had went with merryperseis (my new roommate) and had arranged to meet cobweb and one of her friends. The four of us played Boggle and Pass the Pigs. We stayed at the Diesel Café until around midnight, then merryperseis and I headed home.

I stayed pretty much drunk until around 5 yesterday afternoon. At that point, zarthon came over. He helped us pull ourselves back together.

After talking to zarthon for several hours, I went to GenderPlay, where we played Pass the Pigs and Taboo. I brought Pass the Pigs, and everyone seemed to enjoy playing it. Taboo was okay, but not as fabulous as people seem to make it out to be. I prefer Lunch Money and Boggle.

On the way back home, I gave a friend of mine TMI. I don't know why, I just felt like talking. I feel a little bad about letting it all out on her, and will make a concerted effort to hold back such details in the future. I did feel better after talking, and she insisted she didn't mind, but I still feel that I still should have held back.

-----

Today is laundry day. I will be heading to the laundromat as soon as it stops snowing.

Went to game night at the Diesel Café. Not nearly as many people showed up as the last time I went. However, Boggle seems to be a much better game, now that we know that you can build words diagonally.

on_reserve made the quote of the night when she said, "I was just so overwhelmed with the glory of the four letter word."

--

I felt jittery the whole time I was out. I don't know why, but I just couldn't get my nerves together. There was absolutely nothing to be nervous about. It wasn't a panic attack, because it didn't come on suddenly nor was it brief. I left early. I feel like I'm drifting.

I met cobweb at the Diesel Café. It was great to see her, and I had a great time geeking out with her. I want to take her to the Great Meadow in the spring. I think she'll really enjoy it (as long as she doesn't fall into the Bog of Eternal Stench).

As cobweb was getting ready to leave, someone came up and asked "Are you neitherday?". It turned out to be grrldan. Talking to someone that you've never met IRL but whose journal you've read regularly is odd. You don't really know them at all, but yet you know so much about them.

grrldan introduced me to another lj user, on_reserve. We played Boggle, which is a game I've never played before. I rather liked the game, even though I totally screwed up my first turn because I didn't realize you couldn't build words diagonally.

I'm very happy to be expanding my circle of friends IRL. It's become rather contracted over the last year or so, as I've become more and more of a hermit. Starting to branch out again feels good.