I saw my therapist yesterday. I still don't know the point of going, but I still keep going. I have an appointment next Monday. I'm quite ambivalent about it, but I'll probably go anyway. My therapist wants me to keep going, but also wants me to find my own reason to keep going. I am not motivated to search a reason to continue therapy, as I don't really believe that I would find one. Perhaps, if she thinks I should keep going then she should find a reason for me to do so. I feel the whole endeavour is a waste of resources.

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Today, zarthon is taking me to see my primary care nurse. Hopefully she'll give me the referral I want. At the very least, I'll get a flu shot.

After that, purpleglitter and I will be meeting riga_mortia at the Diesel Café. bathofblood may or may not be there.

riga_mortia wants me to go with her and possibly panda_cookie and/or bathofblood to mute_halo's grave tomorrow. I don't think I am physically up to it right now, considering the frequency and severity of the vertigo episodes I've had lately. Even if I was physically able, I think seeing Rob might be something I want to do on my own.

I posted this meme a little over a year ago. The program has been improved to allow you to exclude your own and anonymous comments from the result, which I have done. Here are the results:

Top Commenters on neitherday's LiveJournal
(Self and anonymous comments excluded from rankings)

	Top 10
1	purpleglitter	185
2	strangedoll	185
3	biker_boi_dhane	181
4	lady_babalon	167
5	circebe	160
6	dykestar	130
7	borggrrl	128
8	ruakh	107
9	lusciousdame	106
10	azurelunatic	101
	( 11-100 )

Total Commenters: 968 (868 not shown)
Total Comments: 10399
Report generated 8/10/2005 2:57:33 PM by scrapdog's LJ Comment Stats Wizard 1.6

I am a member of 2 cliques of size 7

• neitherday, purpleglitter, panda_cookie, mutehalo, bathofblood, sk3, riga_mortia


• neitherday, purpleglitter, panda_cookie, mutehalo, bathofblood, sk3, surrender_to_me

Find the largest clique containing:

(Enter your livejournal username here).

Essentially they're the same clique as riga_mortia == surrender_to_me

bathofblood came over
we had a good time
it's good seeing her
we went down to spy pond
i take just about everyone to spy pond
it's so beautiful
and so close
i love it

i want to get to the great meadow sometime soon
i miss that place
and i have something i want to do there
a mischievous thing
i'm a mischievous being

the air coming in the window is wonderful
it is another beautiful night
in a series of beautiful nights
this summer has been wonderful
only a couple hot days so far
very lucky
hopefully the luck will keep up

i don't know where i am
but do i need to know where i am?
is that really necessary
i don't know where i'm going either
again, do i really need to know
can't i just have faith that where i am is where i need to be
and i'll end up just where i need to end up
the universe has a way of working things out
everything happens for a reason
that's all utter bullshit
i don't have faith
i've seen enough shit that was pointless
the world is falling apart
but, we'll all go to hell together
isn't that nice?

I was released at noon Thursday. purpleglitter picked me up and took me out for Indian food. I was very glad to see her and be wandering about again. We bounced around town a little bit, then headed to the house_of_clocks.

A couple hours after we arrived at the house_of_clocks, merryperseis came home. With her, she brought Indian food. We all ate what she had brought and sat in the kitchen and talked. It was very good to be able to hug her without getting squawked at by the nurses.

I had been planning on getting drunk Thursday night, but I changed my mind. I simply had one drink and crazymaureen came over. Her, purpleglitter, pillowkisser and I sat in the livingroom and talked. crazymaureen brought even more Indian food. I guess I'm well known for liking it.

I had forgotten why I liked spending time with crazymaureen, it's been so long. But, now I remember. There's something about her energy. She's unique and herself, and not afraid to be so. She's made some mistakes, true, but I she means well. Old friends are good.

purpleglitter spent the night. Someone to cuddle in with on the first night home. I very much liked that. Warm against the cold outside.

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Yesterday was my first day at the partial. I arrived late because I didn't realize I was going to actually go until after 9:00am. I had many panic attacks during the program, but all in all I'm glad I went. There are 2 people there that were there last time I went. One never left and the other has returned like me. I'll be heading back Monday.

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pillowkisser and I met bathofblood and ms_brass at the Diesel Café. I was having a good time, but unfortunately had a very bad panic attack and had to leave early.

pillowkisser forgot her hat, so we returned to get it. Back at the Diesel, charliegrrrl invited us to attend the polyamory circle, which was meeting in the back. We did, and met several interesting people, several of whom I gave wish pods to. After about an hour, we decided we ought to be heading back home, so excused ourselves and left.

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Back at home, pillowkisser, merryperseis and I congregated in my room. merryperseis and I had drinks while the three of us listened to music and talked. We had a very merry time, and around 2:00am pillowkisser went back to her room and merryperseis and I fell asleep in each other's arms.

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At some point today, I plan on posting much about the experience of my recent hospitalization.