Yesterday, I went to therapy for the first time since July. During our talks, my therapist told me that I'm in the final stages of therapy. With that comes the question: "What now?".

It's a difficult question. Moving back into the productive workforce carries a good deal of it's own issues and getting in with a 6 year gap and outdated geek skill will present a challenge. I did really enjoy databases and if I do go back into tech I'd like to go back into designing them. There is something about databases that deeply appeals to me. I've done a small amount of data mining in the past, and that appeals to me even more than design. But, it would be easier to go back to design as that is where my experience really lies. It's been 6 years since I've done database design and I would need some refreshing is in order along with updating my skill set to fit the current environment.

However, I'm not entirely certain I want to go back into tech. It would be the easiest and likely the most lucrative choice available to me, but doing something artistic and/or crafty appeals to me greatly as well. Working on the tangible and creating things that will take on a journey and life of their own. I know that some of my databases are still in use and in that way they've taken on a life of their own, but it's not the same as something you can touch. I want to create and build. I just don't know if that is a viable prospect, as it requires capital to get started and insurance is a pain in the ass for the self-employed.

Going back to school would be a happy thing, perhaps studying math and physics like I started out on over a decade ago now, perhaps studying something else. But, that appears the least likely path right now. Financially I don't see how it could happen.

I am overwhelmed with possibilities. It's like I'm coming out a deep dark cave and can finally see great meadows and mountains and forests in front of me, all wondrous but I must choose if I will head towards the meadows or the mountains or the forests. Eyes opening for the first time, yet again.

I took purpleglitter's camera along with me on my walk this morning. This is what I saw:


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