I think I'm going to delete and reinstall the operating system and all programs on Severus (my computer). It has been infested for some time with browser hijackers that I have been unable to get rid of. I currently use Firefox, so the hijacker doesn't actually effect my browser directly anymore, but it does significantly slow down the computer and make running memory intensive programs like Photoshop difficult. I have been using purpleglitter's computer much more than mine for some time, so I haven't really been motivated to clean up Severus. It very much about time that I do. An additional bonus: I'll probably be able to play my music again, too. I'll probably gather everything I need (CDs, etc.) tonight and perform the surgery tomorrow.

i left my cds at the bottom of my steps
i was going to take them with me to lady_babalon's apartment Sunday night, but changed my mind
i lose too many things to randomly take my cds places
i'd hate to lose all my cds
i did have a good time Sunday

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last night i went to see finding neverland with zarthon and purpleglitter
it was a very good movie
definitely worth seeing
very well done

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i'm still not as social as i'd like to be
i'm feeling more up to going out, but i simply don't have the funding too
poverty keeps me at home
i'd love to go do things
try my hand at clubbing again
that would be good
clubbing would allow me to be social and get exercise by dancing at the same time
but, alas clubbing also costs money
i'm about as broke as broke can be
until i find a new source of income, i'm stuck at home unless someone takes me out
i need to get moving on mass rehab
then i can get a job
then i can be a social butterfly again
soon

my computer is having much problems
first comcast erroneously shut us down sunday claiming they never got the check they cashed
they put us back up, but somehow at the same time winsock became corrupted on my system
in an attempt to fix it, i put the install cd for windows xp in the drive
and run the repair reinstall routine
this should take 38 minutes
but it is still going
it says 6 minutes remaining
it said 7 this morning
and 9 last night
it slowed way down at 18
and has gotten progressively slower
but if i stop it all that means is i'll have to restart the process
i already restarted once, and i'm not going to do it again
i'm just going to wait
maybe my computer will be usable tomorrow
maybe i'll give up and install linux
who knows

I started reading The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra today. As per not_you's advise, I'm taking it slow, only reading a little each day so I can fully digest it. I read through the first law today, the "Law of Pure Potentiality" a passage from the introduction has really peeked my interest in the book, as it expresses one of my core beliefs about the nature of the universe.

"The physical universe is nothing other than the Self curving back within Itself to experience Itself as spirit mind and physical matter. In other words, all process of creation are processes through which the Self or divinity expresses Itself. Consciousness in motion expresses itself as the objects of the universe in the eternal dance of life"

The chapter on the first spiritual law stresses the need to become in tune with the universe, the spirit of creation. Finding one's true Self, and learning balance between Self and the Universe (which is actually the same thing) is the key to unleashing pure potentiality and creativity, where anything is possible. I want to try the various methods suggested by this book to achieve balance and pure potentiality: meditation, communication with nature, silence, and non-judgment. In fact, I'm going to start meditating twice a day ("taking time each day to be silent, to just be" as Deepak Chapra puts it), in addition to working out once a day (not suggested in the book). I'm also going to get out to Spy Pond more and start making regular trips to the Great Meadow come Spring. I really have no excuse not to do these things. I have no job, I'm not in school. I could be doing so much with my day to better myself, it's time I started to.

I find that my thunderstorm CD is very good to meditate with, as it drowns out the traffic of Mass Ave. But I'm also considering just being with the sounds of Mass Ave. The comes in gentle waves, it might not be a bad idea. I also want to check out the used CD shops when I get money again for ambient CDs, like brooks, surf, and rain. As odd as it may seem. Silence is ideal to meditate with, but I can only really have that around 3:00am, which I will take advantage of. But as I want to meditate at least twice a day, and cannot always do so in science, I want to pick the least distracting sounds I can for my meditations.

I have a feeling my life is about to take a new, better, calmer direction. I'm looking forward to it. The last few years have been a typhoon that has left me tired and battered. I want to find some peace, and I think I'm finally starting to realize I need to make that journey.

The drivers for my USB port aren't working, so I haven't been able to use the scanner. I was planning to bring a CD home from purpleglitter's apartment that I could reinstall them from, but I forgot to take it with me.

It doesn't matter now. Fish just knocked the heavy glass head from the shelf above the scanner onto the scanner. While it didn't break the glass, but it did knock it one side of the glass off from the plastic so that it droops down into the scanner, meaning the scans will no longer be in focus.

Note to dan4th: I in NO way hold you responsible for this. Cats break things. That's just part of living with them. It could just have easily been Mazzy breaking something of yours.

I have come up with an ingenious solution to the Bebe Music Problem. Bebe was complaining that she doesn't have that many CDs. I have a large collection of MP3s on my computer (over 2000). I told her that she could pick out whatever songs off my collection she wanted and I'd burn her a CD. I like the songs I have on my computer, so I knew I'd like the songs she picked out. Not only does this mean that when Bebe plays the CD, I'm not tortured; it also means that I come off as being a very generous person.

Bebe liked the songs on my computer so much, that she's going to go out Tuesday and buy some more CDs so that I can burn her more.

The CD is burning right now.

I filled out and mailed off all my disability paperwork. I also sent wish pods to das_hydra and noirelilly, and CDs to vonjenef. While I was at it, I mailed printed copies of all the poems I've posted on LiveJournal to myself for copyright purposes.