I've started making candles again. My new idea is flower candles.

I bought some flower shaped flexible cupcake molds. Planning on taking advantage of the contraction of the cooling wax, I filled in the depressions that form at the top of the solidifying candles with a different colour wax. I had hoped they would look like nice flower centers. However, the wax didn't fill evenly, making for extremely irregular centers that don't really say "flower" at all. For my next batch, I'm planning to pick up some metal rings at the hardware store that I can use as a secondary mold for the center. If they turn out well, I'll post pictures.

Several people I know "in real life" have told me I should post about my penny plan here. It's changed my life. It's taken me from being a lazy slob to being productive.

The penny plan started out simple. I get 1 penny for every 5 minutes of work, I pay 1 penny for every 5 minutes of television or online time. However, that simple structure was turned into a plan that works for me and has succeeded in keeping me from falling into the eternal distraction abyss. My rules are:

Earning pennies: 6 pennies to begin the day, 12 if purpleglitter is home from work that day. 1 penny for every 5 minutes of cleaning, crafting, or other productive work. 1 penny for every 5 minutes of Telugu practice. 1 penny for every 10 minutes of book reading (magazines, no matter how dry, don't count). 1 penny for every 10 minutes of photography. 2 pennies for every 5 minutes working on a "priority project" assigned by purpleglitter. Using pennies: Every 5 minutes of computer time costs me 1 penny. Every 5 minutes of television time costs me 1 penny. If I'm using the computer to prep photos, I pay half If I'm with purpleglitter, I pay half If I have no pennies, I cannot do any of the activities that require them.

The penny plan, unlike project schedule or project three meals, has proven to be something I can stick to. I've been on it successfully for almost a month at this point and I still going strong. It has truly transformed me.

The weekend before last, I lost the cane that Christian had given me. I left it in the shopping cart at the Super 88 and it was gone.

This past weekend, my serpent staff broke. The cane I can brush off as being spacy when I got in purpleglitter's car, but when something happens to the serpent staff it is generally means I've strayed off course. It broke in an entirely new place than it did before - after I repair it, it will have three different sections. I lost my spiritual path of late, life has overwhelmed me.

Life has overwhelmed me because I've let it overwhelm me. I've become frustrated and impatient with things that don't matter, and have been neglecting things that do. I need to be more mindful of my thoughts, actions, and intents. I need to right my path and fix my staff.

brontosproximo posted something a while back about drilling holes in pennies to save money on washers. That inspired me to do something similar in my candlemaking. I've been using pennies as wick bases, which is not only more convenient (I don't have to run out and get them), it is significantly cheaper than buying bases at the craft or even using washers for the task. Best thing is, I don't even have to drill holes in them, the pennies work find as is.

ravenways came up to visit yesterday. We had planned to take some photographs, but never got around to it. Instead we made candles, chatted, and tooled around Arlington. I've noticed lately that I tend to have plenty of fun with people even when we don't end up doing whatever we planned on as long as we keep a good attitude. Getting together with friends and family shouldn't be about the activity, it should be about the friends and family. The activity happening or not is insignificant compared to the time spent together.

Tonight I made candles for the first time. I'm very happy with how they turned out. I only made a few, but I learned a lot that should help me make more in the future.

Poll #828329
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

What change should I make to Project Schedule next week?

Poll #822528
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

What change should I make to Project Schedule next week?

Poll #817263
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

What change should I make to Project Schedule next week?

Poll #812577
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

Which scheduled activity should I add for the coming week? (note that the point of this is to have a schedule and an activity's appearance on this poll does not imply that I do not already do that activity)

[[EDIT: mazzy should be mazzycat]]

Yesterday, I went to therapy for the first time since July. During our talks, my therapist told me that I'm in the final stages of therapy. With that comes the question: "What now?".

It's a difficult question. Moving back into the productive workforce carries a good deal of it's own issues and getting in with a 6 year gap and outdated geek skill will present a challenge. I did really enjoy databases and if I do go back into tech I'd like to go back into designing them. There is something about databases that deeply appeals to me. I've done a small amount of data mining in the past, and that appeals to me even more than design. But, it would be easier to go back to design as that is where my experience really lies. It's been 6 years since I've done database design and I would need some refreshing is in order along with updating my skill set to fit the current environment.

However, I'm not entirely certain I want to go back into tech. It would be the easiest and likely the most lucrative choice available to me, but doing something artistic and/or crafty appeals to me greatly as well. Working on the tangible and creating things that will take on a journey and life of their own. I know that some of my databases are still in use and in that way they've taken on a life of their own, but it's not the same as something you can touch. I want to create and build. I just don't know if that is a viable prospect, as it requires capital to get started and insurance is a pain in the ass for the self-employed.

Going back to school would be a happy thing, perhaps studying math and physics like I started out on over a decade ago now, perhaps studying something else. But, that appears the least likely path right now. Financially I don't see how it could happen.

I am overwhelmed with possibilities. It's like I'm coming out a deep dark cave and can finally see great meadows and mountains and forests in front of me, all wondrous but I must choose if I will head towards the meadows or the mountains or the forests. Eyes opening for the first time, yet again.

Just applied the first coat of polyurethane to the new staff. There is definitely a learning curve, and the process has gone much smoother than the last time. Properly prepared and knowing better what I'm doing, this time there was no eternal sticky and no need for flour.

In 48 hours the second coat will go on and 72 hours after that the new staff will be good to go.

I started work on a new staff/cane yesterday. My current one needs occasional maintenance, and there are many times I need a walking aid. I used a small hacksaw (the only appropriate cutting tool I have) to cut the windfallen branch down to size, peeled off the loss bark, and sanded it. Later today I plan to apply the first coat of polyurethane.

My old staff (which I may start calling my serpent staff to avoid ambiguity of which staff I'm referring to) will continue to be very special. It was a gift from the tree færies, and has come to symbolize many things for me. It is unique and cannot be replaced. The new staff is too young yet to see what if any spiritual meaning or purpose it might have or develop. But, if nothing else it will serve as a cane when I am not using the old one, which might be a good idea on many occasions simply to reduce wear.

I was quite productive yesterday, well more productive than average for me at least. In addition to my daily chores (animal care and cooking), I reglued the twine on my staff, I did a much needed load of laundry, and did an good hour of cleaning the downstairs of the house_of_clocks with recoiling.

Yeah, it's kind of pathetic what I consider a good and productive day. But, I want to surf this wave and see if it builds. After Skye's vet appointment at 3pm, I want to do some more cleaning at the house_of_clocks and do some crafting. Perhaps I'm on the verge of at least getting my surroundings and activities in order. I've been on this precipice for a long time, so I'm not going to get to carried away with optimism.