By now, most have heard about the video of U.S. marine throwing puppy off a cliff in Iraq. This sort of behaviour isn't new to war. There was a Vietnam veteran in Cahill 3 with me. He told me a story that seems now eerily similar to this.

The guys in his unit called the orangutans "rock apes", because they would catch rocks you threw at them and then throw the rocks back. They had fun playing catch with the orangutans until one day one of the guys in the unit decided to pull a pin out of a grenade and throw it at an orangutan . Of course the orangutan caught the grenade and was blown to pieces. That ended the fun they had with the orangutans. The difference is that they didn't have camera phones then.

Should we be surprised by this sort of behaviour? These soldiers have been sent to kill people. Most humans view other animals as less than human. If they're killing people left and right, what's the odd puppy or orangutan ? Who is more evil then: the marine that killed the puppy or the politicians sent him over there to kill?

From the The Universal Household Assistant or What Every One Should Know (1884):

Household Hints. — Do not deposit wood ashes in a wooden vessel or upon a wooden floor.    Never use a light in examining a gas-meter.    Never take a light into a closet.    Never read in bed by candle or lamp light.    Never put kindling wood on top of the stove to dry.    Never leave clothes near a grate or fire-place to dry.    Be careful in making fire with shavings, and never user any kind of oil to kindle a fire.    Keep all lights as far from curtains as possible.    Always fill and trim your lamps by daylight, and never near a fire.    Good nice pie-crust can be made by always observing the following rule. One-quarter of a cup of shortening to every cup of flour used; to be mixed as dry as possible with cold water, and mixed only with a knife.    Take sweet butter only for baking purposes, and never fail to thoroughly beat together your butter and sugar, if you would be sure of good results in cake baking.    Have metal or earthen vessels for matches, and keep them out of reach of children. Wax matches are not safe.    Ground mustard mixing with a little water is an excellent agent for cleansing the hands after handling odorous substances.    Cut hot bread or cake with a hot knife, and it will not be clammy.    Salt extracts the juices of meat in cooking. Steaks ought therefore not be salted until they have been broiled.    In boiling dumplings of any kind, put them in the water one at a time. If they are put in together they will mix with each other.    Do not cut lamp-wicks, but trim them by wiping off with a scrap of paper.    Never boil vegetables with soup stock, for if you do it will certainly become sour in a short time.    Boil your cream for coffee, and see if the coffee will not taste better, as well as keep hot longer.    Pin-cushion covers made of cheese cloth embroidered and trimmed with lace, wear well and keep their looks.    Some one says that leaves of parsley, eaten with a little vinegar, will destroy the odor of breath tainted by onions.    Hot liquid lye is recommended for removing obstructions in waste pipes. Or let the potash dissolve over night in the pipes.    To wipe dust from papered walls, take a clean, soft piece of flannel. Of course it must not be damp, but the dry flannel will remove the dust.    Varnish the soles of your shoes, and it will render them impervious to dampness, and will also make them last longer. This is a good plan.    Clean the mica in stove doors with vinegar. Take clinkers out of stoves by putting a few oyster shells into the grate, when they will become loosened, and may be removed without injuring the lining.    Save the droppings from spermaceti candles, tie them in a cloth, and keep to smooth rough flat-irons.    Never starch napkins.    An old black bunting or cashmere dress may be made to serve a further period of usefulness by being made into a petticoat.    Between two evils choose neither.    Writing a will does not shorten life, and yet many men fear it will.    Save old suspender rings, and sew them on the corners of kitchen holders to hang them by. It will be easy then to flip them on to a nail, and they will not be so likely to get lost.    Powdered borax with a little sugar, blown into the cracks and crevices with a small bellows, will drive away house-ants.    Have a high stool in the kitchen to sit on when tired, to continue your work if necessary. Perched on its top you can wash dishes or iron with ease. A low stool placed on a wooden chair forms a substitute, but a poor one. A soft sheep-skin mat is restful to stand upon.    There is nothing better for cleaning brass or copper than coal ashes. They are also good to scour knives and forks with. For tin, whiting or fine sand is best.    To cleanse jars or jugs or any earthen vessel slaked lime is good, or warmed lye.    To keep a stove smooth, take a coarse and pretty large piece of flannel, roll it hard, and dip it in fine sand. Proceed to rub your stove whenever you are through cooking. Almost any stove will look better for being done the same way occasionally. Boiled starch is also very good to keep a stove looking well; put it on where it will not burn off — around the back and sides where it doesn't get very hot.

Nearly everyone regardless of what side they're on, regardless of what fight they're fighting, believes that they are on the side of good. And most people believe their opponents will use every dirty tactic and nasty trick in the book to win, after all they are evil. Too many use that as an excuse to do ill themselves – in the name of "good" or "freedom" or "justice" or whatever banner they're flying. The mentality is that it it's okay if "our side" does less than ethical things, because we are the "good guys" and it is important that we win. However, since everyone believes they are the "good guys" – if you make an exception for the "good guys", you're making an exception for everyone.

I'd like to address an issue that often stymies liberal causes: Liberal smugness. Sure, the conservatives have a smugness too, but I am addressing it specifically when it comes to the left wing.

Smugness differs from being sure of oneself. Smugness is when you are not only sure you are right, but also think those you consider wrong are sheep, idiots, etc. Smugness comes in the belief that something must be wrong with the cognitive abilities of anyone who would disagree. The problem with smugness is that it is usually simply implied, though sometimes it is outright stated. And this attitude is endemic in the liberal community.

Yes, it can be frustrating addressing non-liberals. Yes, I've been guilty of liberal smugness myself. It's hard not to be, sometimes you can feel like you're only talking to brick walls. However, if you want to convince people of your point of view – people who don't currently agree with your point of view – it is best not to start out by insulting them either directly or indirectly. Liberal smugness reflexively turns people off of liberal ideologies. It makes people not want to be associated with liberals or even the word "liberal".

Be sure of yourself, but keep in mind that just because someone hasn't come to have the same "enlightened" views as yourself does not mean they are inherently evil or cognitively impaired.

Money can't buy happiness. This is true. However, it can eliminate a lot of the causes of stress and sadness. Yes, the rich suffer too, money affords more opportunities to alleviate that suffering. Money can rid one of having to worry about unstable housing or the affordability of food and medicine. A trip to the emergency room doesn't decimate the finances of the well-off, and if one has wealth one has the luxury of being able to prepare an emergency fund for any unforeseen blip in their cash flow.

Pervasive in this culture a perception is that wealth = good; and motivated, hard-working people will end up rewarded. The reality is that wealth has a lot more to do with luck than it does anything else. Yes, there is work involved, but the idea that the $400 million CEO works harder than the day labourer is ridiculous. If the labourer ends up in a nasty car wreck and falls into utter financial ruin, it is perceived as their fault and that they deserve their fate. The CEO who screws up often still makes off with millions in severance.

The simple act of making money may not be evil in and of itself, but neither is it a virtue. There is no inherent dignity in wealth. The past clings too hard to the future, and we still live with the age-old stench of poverty = moral inferiority. The rich have their money because they are the best stewards of it. The poor wouldn't know what to do with it and would simply squander it. When the rich get richer, everyone will benefit as those on top unzip their flies and trickle down on the unworthy beneath them. Bullshit.

"There is none righteous. Not even one."

This is one of my favorite sayings of the Christian Bible because it speaks to something beyond Christianity, beyond religion. There are no perfect good people. Everyone is flawed and everyone does bad things sometimes. No person on this planet is a holy bastion of goodness. No one. Not me. Not you. No one. Period.

Good is not something one can become, it is only something one can work towards. It is in our nature to do bad things and we cannot be the perfect beings of light, but we can strive for that. We can keep improving and working toward that. We can consciously try to do fewer bad things and more good things. Acknowledging that we have limits is not an excuse to not push those limits.

When one becomes filled with the glory of righteousness and goes forth and fights in that righteous glory, one is deluded. Each of your enemies is made of the same stuff every one of us is. They are flawed, as every one of is of us is.

This is important on more than a personal level. A society or a movement fails when it is decided that unjustifiable actions are warranted against other groups on the basis that those groups are considered evil. It is very easy to consider your enemies evil. Anyone can do it. Therefore, the moral standing of the enemy cannot be a justification for horrendous action.

i am in the dark places now
split apart from where i feel is what i know
i know these dark places are not all there is
but i feel now that i shall not see beyond
farther down, i know none of this is real
but it is there still
and there is nothing else

i must learn to see the always beauty
even if it is always hollow
i must learn to merge what i know with what i feel
even if neither are true
i must accept that the universe is infinite in wonder and bliss
and infinite in darkness and despair

there is nothing good nor bad
there is nothing wrong nor right
there is just experience
forever and always
never ending and never beginning

to wander below stars
and try reach them
some day to be them
they are where we're from
and where we're going to

nothing more is here than was here before
and nothing less
it never changes and never stays the same

again i meet the riddle here
the truth which is the lie
forget this all as nonsense
muttered by the mad
i cannot tell you where this is
but only that i will never leave

Last night I had a bit of a breakdown. But, because of that breakdown I learned about something I've been trying to figure out for some time now: the nature of evil. Again, the answer has always been right in front of me, but I never really looked to see it: Evil is in the demon eyes.

To look through demon eyes is to look at the universe or the world or the that which is within the world with utter despisement, contempt, and hate. I've worn demon eyes, and I would venture to say that every person has seen the world through them at one point or another. Looking through demon eyes feels very very good. The world seems dark and one seem above it all. It aggrandizes the ego, providing an amazing powertrip, frees one from bindings of morality and love, and can even allow one to see themselves as righteous in these things. There is a revelry in evil, and one can become addicted to that revelry.

By looking through demon one becomes a demon. Demon eyes allow people to knowingly do very harmful things for personal gain, and sometimes even to do harmful things to simply be harmful. The demon eyes are very dangerous, and they are the root of the much, if not most, of the human-caused suffering in the world. The Demon sees the world as ugly and works to make it so.

Some people live the majority of their lives looking through demon eyes. It is an addiction. It is heroin of the soul, and eventually turns the barer into a bitter jaded junky, a demons in the machine.

Demons are real. They are all around us. They are human, and they are us.

still don't have oil
it will still be a stretch, but i think we might actually be able to afford it soon with the help of citizen's energy
joe kennedy is cool
i'd rather him be governor than romney
we would see a much more reasonable approach to the state budget
we need to reverse the tax cuts to the wealthy
even in massachusetts reach the tentacles of the help the rich, screw the poor philosophy
scary
we've got to devise a way to stop the republicans before it's too late
they're everywhere
what's wrong with people in this country?
why can't they see that they tread the path of evil, greed, and hate.
fucking ferengi
ferengi who've found religion
ferengi society is based on the rules of acquisition
a republican's wet dream
just add a couple of jesus's here and there and it's perfect

maybe i'm just drunk, but i believe bush's mind can be changed
cheney seems to have gotten to him about civil unions
maybe he can be pulled away from the dark side
nah, i'm just drunk

i haven't been posting much that i've been up to
i guess i'll make that up now
last weekend i planned to go to a party and a samhain rite
i had big fun at the party on Saturday
but i didn't make it to the rite on Sunday
i wasn't feeling up to it
i haven't been feeling up to much actually
i'm a shadow of the social butterfly i used to be
i need to get out more
but before that i need to get stable
and drinking tonight isn't helping
i feel less stable
and i feel ill as alcohol makes my stomach problems worse
but i'm drinking anyway
because bush won and we're all fucked
might as well fuck myself
i need to change direction
the direction i'm in is right into the dirt
it might not seem that i'm doing that badly
but i am
outwardly i'm doing better than i have in years
but inside i'm being torn up
for no good reason, it just feels like my mind is being ripped apart
"disordered thinking" as my therapist would say
i need to get motivated to change
i've always had a problem with motivation
stress and deadlines used to be the way i'd cope with that lack
i'd thrive on stress
now i just curl up under stress
i'm going to take another drink, lay down, and try not to vomit
ha! that's a good one
vomiting is what got me into this stomach mess in the first place
i used to make myself vomit
now i do it involunarily
fun fun
bulimia is evil
i wish i never went down that road
i've lived to regret it very much
i wish i could have a drink without feeling ill
i want to say it's not fair, but i did it to myself
it is fair
i just hate it

Poll #347634
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

George W. Bush is:

greetings and hello
i'm sitting here
purpleglitter is humming amazing grace
there refrigerator is humming too
but not amazing grace
the keyboard tray is broken
so the keyboard is on top of the desk
purpleglitter is laughing
i need new bras
my breasts have gotten bigger
i used to not wear bras
okay, i still don't like wearing bras
but i think i'm getting to the point where i need a little support
anyway
so there it is
la la la
stream-of-consciousness can lead strange places
the movie is back on
purpleglitter is watching the haunted
it's really bad
but somewhat funny
not the best funny bad
i saw it a long time ago
never liked it
i'm getting sucked in none the less
tv is evil
must resist
must resist

interested in madness?
where does it lead?
down this path again
and again
madness is just seeing the world from a different angle
i am mad
because i see the universe from a different angle
it is possible to go mad
when you leave the accepted realm of possibilities
but your reality is just as valid
madness is just a another state
one outside the accepted realm
------
everything in our mind exists
it is always there
and just as real as everything else
even our most twisted unholy thoughts
exist somewhere
therefore what we think matters
and working to lesson unpleasant thoughts
adds pleasant thoughts to the universe
of course unpleasant thoughts
are sometimes necessary and good things
a way must be devised
to differentiate necessary bad thought from unnecessary
a balance must be reached

END TRANSMISSION

looking the other way
sometimes i want to block some things out
so that i don't have to deal with them
i just block them out of my head
they don't exist
i make them go away
this isn't always successful
but the closer the thing is to the Evil Thing
the harder i push
i make sure things near the Evil Thing stay far away
my mind is a maze built to keep me from finding the way
i built this maze to stop me from finding the Evil Thing
now i'm looking for the Evil Thing
i seek out the Evil Thing
but the maze is built to make me question
whether i really want to see the Evil Thing
i designed myself to be afraid of the Evil Thing
why would i seek it out?
this is an important question
will i gain or lose if i find the Evil Thing?
or will i be the same?
no better off
no worse
what is hidden is hidden
i don't even know what the Evil Thing is
whenever i get close to what the Evil Thing is
alarms go off
i twitch
i cannot reach the questions about the Evil Thing
without triggering alarms
the Evil Thing is bad
bad place
i don't know what to do about seeking the Evil Thing

This post in myenergy's journal disturbed me greatly. As a child, I exhibited very similar behaviours. I still do sometimes. Especially when having flashbacks. Continually hiding coiled up under my desk was the reason I was put into a "behavior disorder" program from the 1^st thru 4^th grades. I don't remember hiding under desks as a child, I've just been told about it. I assume that it was another alter. One who knew more than me.

It horrifies me to wonder what must have happened to the student myenergy talks about. That sort of behaviour doesn't just occur without a reason. Something happened to that girl. Something horrible. Whether it was abuse or some sort of nasty accident, I can't know for sure. However, her repeating the words "Don't touch me." leads me to believe it was/is probably abuse.

The post reminds me again that sort of evil has not left. It is not "in the past". It is in the here and now, and must be stopped. Countless broken souls are relegated to the streets and asylums and dimly lit nightmares. And more are being readied. All the time, more are being readied. Hell is hungry. It must be stopped.

I'm an ugly evil bitch. i hate me i hate me i hat