From the The Universal Household Assistant or What Every One Should Know (1884), posted at the request of kitsunekaboom

Ringworm — remedy for. — When the disease does not come from direct contagion, children are generally in a poor state of blood, and good living, sea air, and tonic medicines are of great benefit. The following application will frequently be found of much service: Wash the part effected with a little lemon juice; then rub in with the finger a little gunpowder which has been bruised in a mortar. Do this gently about twice a day. Be very careful not to make the skin sore.

I was supposed to see dicotomygrrl tonight. Just before she was due to arrive, I received a panicked phonecall from purpleglitter. Dandelion's food was hurt and there was lots of blood. I ran over to purpleglitter's house with my shoes in my hand, not even taking time to put them on until we had already loaded Dandelion in the car and were heading off to Angell Memorial Hospital.

Prior to calling me, purpleglitter had put styptic powder on Dandelion, so the bleeding had stopped. He appeared to be doing well and half way there we questioned if he needed to go, but we decided it was best that he see a vet anyway just in case.

Even in the strange situation, rushed out in the night, Dandelion still did step ups for the attending vet. When the vet asked if he was flighted he took off from his finger as if to say "Of course I can fly".

He got right onto my finger and I scooped him up and handed him to the vet. He is a brave bird. The vet took him in back to the "exotics" ward. Dandelion was a bit shaken when he returned, but I gave him good scritches while the vet looked for Dandelion's records and he calmed down.

He apparently got his toenail caught in something and it broke off. It looks like he'll be alright.

I haven't fallen down once since the rapture I experience a little over a week ago. Not once. Something was awakening. The unwinding of the Kundalini. I have noted much symbolic significance in what I have called my cane. It is more than a cane, it is my staff. I realize now that I did not need my staff because I had trouble walking, but that I had trouble walking because I needed my staff. Now I have found it and seen what it is, I do not need it to walk around, but I do need it for my journey. It was meant for me.

I have come to see my staff in the form of a serpent, the handle being the serpent head. The serpent is not an animal I would have picked out to associate myself with. The squirrel, the skunk, the Canadian goose, and the raccoon. Those have been the animals I have felt kinship with. But now I walk a new path. Not really new a new path, as I've always walked my path, it's just I realized before that I was walking.

----

Today is the first day I have been able to take my staff outside since I sealed it with polyurethane 6 days ago. I put the coating on it so that I would not have to worry about taking it outside in the elements. I was worried that snow and rain would take their toll on it, and it would not be long before it crumbled of rot.

Putting the polyurethane on proved to be more adventure than I had anticipated. More accurately: putting the polyurethane on the staff was easy, getting it off myself was difficult. I don't have any paint thinner, and not much else works as a solvent for polyurethane. I tried water and soap. I tried rum. My hands were sticky and the stick was spreading. The brushes I placed in a plastic bowl of soapy water and I hope that they are still able to be fully cleaned when I do get paint thinner. However, my hands and my arms were my more immediate concern and I lacked the correct solvent.

It then occurred to me that there was another approach to solve the problem. I needed the polyurethane would take hold of rather than something that would take hold of the polyurethane: flour. I worked the flour over my hands and arms and between my fingers letting it form a thick paste with the polyurethane. That paste I could then simply scrape off my skin. It worked, and I am now free of the stick of the polyurethane. I will, however, make sure I have paint thinner on hand if I try this again, so that I can do the clean-up the proper way.

I'm going to start make lists. To start with, I'm going to make lists from the book List Your Self by Ilene Segalove and Paul Bob Velick.

List all the qualities you love about being human:. sight touch hearing smell taste sex empathy love making music looking at the stars and knowing what they are people like Martin Luther King, Jr. and Gandhi fire language opposable thumbs standing upright social interaction mammalian bonding rituals laughter drugs being ticklish ethics

okay. i'm hogging purpleglitter's keyboard to type this.
la la la
when, a few posts back, i said all stream of consciousness posts i make are one paragraph
i lied
most are formatted like this one.
there are two styles.
but, they must all fit one of the styles.
okay
i am stoned
making a stream of consciousness post
as planned
yep
it goes something like the post you're reading
well it is exactly like it but it needn't be.
still with me?
okay
some of you may have left this post by now
considering it drug-induced gibberish
while it is drug-induced
it is not gibberish
it is something else entirely
a trip though my mind
i just type what i think
let my fingers go
and this is what we get
so while some may find it boring
you don't because if you did
you probably would have stopped reading by now
so hello to those still with us
where was i?
i'm going to see my therapist two more times
and that's it
new therapist
i'm going to miss her
i don't like having to start over
yeah, i know
i'm not really starting over
but it feels like i am
i don't know how this coffee thing is going to work
i know i should be limiting myself to one a day
but then i'm so tired
an overwhelming cannot function tired
i need at least two
i'm going to try two and if the symptoms come back i guess i'll have to go to one
i don't want to do it
i need to explore different ways to get energy than caffeine
i have an "energy" trail mix my sister got me friday
if it works maybe i could get more
it's just raisins and assorted nuts
i don't think it will work
but i'll give it a try
i'll also try taking B vitamins
that should help too
several people have suggested decaf coffee
but i still can't fathom the concept behind it
i should have a good simile for that
but i don't
so oh well
anyway
this was a stream of consciousness post
as promised
ttfn

This is the only way I'm going to actually post, so i'm going to do it. Here we go. This is a post. I've been quite busy the past few days. invalid_userid came down to visit. We had many good conversations. I haven't seen her in 4 years. We had fun. Her, purpleglitter and I went to Mount Auburn Cemetery yesterday. Huge garden cemetery. Beautiful place. We actually got to go up to the top of the tower. It's usually closed. But yesterday we climbed. Wonderful. Now for something completely different. Yesterday I saw my urologist. (you see, I have certain rules I follow. One of those things is that a stream of consciousness post only closest of one paragraph(no returns(you can see i'm a programmer at heart: as i embed my parentheses.)), which makes it harder to segway) Back to the subject at hand, yesterday I saw my urologist. He stuck his finger up my butt and gave me antibiotics. he also told me to stay to no more than one caffeinated beverage a day. he threatened me that if I don't get better this time they're going to stick a scope up me. Oh, what fun that will be! Ugh. So I better get better and if that means sticking to one caffeinated beverage a day, I'll do it. That is all. Good.

hello out there. i'm very twichy. i'm shakey and sweaty. everything is hot and cold and dizzy and there are blinking windows at the bottom of the screen an i don't know how to click them. ability is fleeting. i can do a little bit sometimes. lake is making coffee. i had some tea earlier. maybe i should take my PRNs. where are you? who am i talking to? everyone? no one? myself, when i read this later? All of the above? my legs are shaking the desk. the monitor is bouncing up and down. and the window is still blinking. i can just move my fingers and eyes. i'm going to ask lake to save the message for me. i don't think i can figure out how.

strobe light
loud music
turn down
but not off
i saw exploding circles earlier
and posiden
and ritual people in a forest
caring staffs
...
...
...
trauma x
here we are
floating
not thinking so much
purity of thought
moving
...
...
...
i appear to be doing three dots three dots three dots again
...
...
...
will i rebel?
will i slip in an extra dot just to be different?
...
...
...
purity of experience
i love purity of experience
it's just you and i here
hello
...
...
...
how are you?
where do you find yourself now?
why are you here?
...
...
...
what am i doing here?
i'm just sitting here
that is what i am doing
traveling down the page
typing my where somewhere
i'm a bit lost
and don't know where i'm going at the moment
but i'm sure i'll find something interesting
always do
...
...
...
i need to get some acid
pot and the strobe light are one thing
but with acid i think i could break through all this
this
this clutter
meant to distract me
i know
i designed it
i just have to figure out why
but i designed it specifically to hide why
which is very annoying
but i have played this game for many years now
i know how it works
i need some acid
make a few adjustments to the rules
...
...
...
where am i?
in someplace else
i'm not in the outer "reality"
but i'm communicating with it
are you there?
or are you here?
still reading
wondering if i'll rebel
add that forth dot
leave one off
...
...
...
maybe i won't
maybe by not rebelling today i'll be different
i'll rebel by not rebelling
...
...
...
my foot is asleep
i can't move
i am frozen
only my fingers and eyes have movement
everywhere else
i'm frozen
where are the doors
i don't have to move to reach them
i can move the doors toward me instead
...
...
...
good journey

A week ago, I found a book in my closet that I had never seen before. Printed in 1884, it is entitled The Universal Household Assistant or What Every One Should Know. It's "a cyclopedia of practical information" and has subjects listed in alphabetical order. Following are some of my favorite entries:

Cancer — cure. — Take the blossoms of red clover and make tea of them, and drink freely. It will cure cancer in the stomach as well as on the surface.    Choking — ways to relieve. — Do not lose an instant. Force the mouth open with the handle of a knife or of a long spoon; push the thumb and fingers deep down into the throat beyond the root of the tongue, and feel for the foreign body. If the obstruction cannot be grasped, a hair pin bent into a hook and guided by the left hand will often bring it out. If this fails, get someone to press against the front of the chest or support it against the edge of a table, and strike several hard, quick blows with open hand on the back between the shoulder blades. Further treatment must be applied by a physician, who should have been immediately sent for    2. To prevent choking, break an egg into a cup and give it to the person choking, to swallow. The white of the egg seems to catch around the obstacle and remove it. If one egg does not answer the purpose, try another. The white is all that is necessary.    3. A smart blow with the flat of the hand on the back just below the neck will often relieve the windpipe. If it does not, send for the doctor at once.    4. Foreign bodies lodged in the throat can be removed by forcibly blowing into the ear. The plan is so easily tried and so harmless that we suggest its use.    Dentists' Nerve Paste. — 1. Arsenic, one part; rose pink, two parts. To destroy the nerve apply this preparation on a pledget of cotton, previously moistened with creosote, to the cavity of the tooth, let it remain four hours, then wash out thoroughly with water.    2. Arsenous acid, thirty grains; acetate of morphia, twenty grains; creosote, quantity sufficient for paste. Mix.    Embalming — new method of. — Mix together five pounds dry sulphate of alumine, one quart of warm water, and one hundred grains arsenious acid. Inject three or four quarts of this mixture into all the vessels of the human body. This applies as well to all animals, birds, fishes, etc. This process supercedes the old and revolting mode, and has been introduced into the great anatomical schools of Paris.    Guano — home-made. — Save all your fowl manure from sun and rain. To prepare it for use, spread a layer of dry swamp muck (the blacker it is the better) on your barn floor, and dump on it the whole of your fowl manure; beat it into a fine powder with the back of your spade; this done, add hard wood ashes and plaster of Paris, so that the compound shall be composed of the following proportions: Dried muck, four bushels; fowl manure, two bushels; ashes, one bushel; plaster, one and one-half bushels. Mix thoroughly, and spare no labor; for, in this matter, the effort expended will be well paid for. A little before planting, moisten the heap with water, or, better still, with urine; cover well over with old mats, and let it lie till wanted for use. Apply it to beans, corn, or potatoes, at the rate of a handful to a hill; and mix with the soil before dropping the seed. This will be found the best substitute for guano ever invented, and may be depended on for bringing great crops of turnips, corn, potatoes, etc.    Hysterics — cure for. — The fit may be prevented by the administration of thirty drops of laudanum, and as many of ether. When it has taken place open the windows, loosen the tight parts of the dress, sprinkle cold water on the face, etc. A glass of wine or cold water when the patient can swallow. Avoid excitement and tight lacing.    Mites in Cheese — to destroy. — 1. These are at all times better avoided than destroyed, for when they have become very numerous they do a great deal of damage in a short time. To avoid mites the best plan seems to be to leave the cheese exposed to the air, and to brush it occasionally; some prefer wrapping the cheese in a buttered paper, but the former plan, we think is the best. When mites have become very numerous, they may be killed by suspending the cheese by a piece of wire or string, and dipping it for a moment into a pail of boiling water. The boiling water will kill all the mites, and do no harm to the cheese unless it is left in too long.    2. Cheese kept in a cool larder or cellar, with a cloth rung out of clean, cold water constantly upon it, will never have mites in it, or if it has, this will soon destroy them, and also greatly improve the cheese, keeping it always moist.    Nitrous Oxide, or Laughing Gas. — Take two or three ounces of nitrate of ammonia in crystals and put it into a retort, taking care that the heat does not exceed five hundred degrees; when the crystals begin to melt, the gas will be produced in considerable quantities. The gas may be also produced, though not so pure, by pouring nitric acid, diluted with five or six times it [sic] weight of water, on copper fillings or small pieced of tin. The gas is given out till the acid begins to turn brown; the process must then be stopped.    Opium and its Uses. — Opium is a stimulant, narcotic, and anodyne. Used externally, it acts almost as well as when taken into the stomach, and without affecting the head of causing nausea. Applied to irritable ulcers in the form of tincture, it promotes their cure and allays pain. Clothes dipped in a strong solution, and applied over painful bruises, tumors, or inflamed joints, allays pain. A small piece of solid opium stuffed into a hollow tooth relieves toothache. Two drops of the wine of opium dropped into the eye acts as an excellent stimulant in bloodshot eye, or after long-continued inflammation, it is useful in strengthening the eye. Applied as a liniment, in combination with ammonia or oil, or with camphorated spirit, it relieves muscular pain. When combined with oil of turpentine, it is useful as a liniment in spasmodic colic. Used internally, it acts as a very powerful stimulant, then as a sedative, and finally as an anodyne and narcotic, allaying pain in the most extraordinary manner, by acting directly upon the nervous system.    In acute rheumatism it is a most excellent medicine, when combined with calomel and tartarate of antimony; but its exhibition requires the judicious care of a medical man.    Doses of the various preparations. — Confection of opium, from five grains to half a dram; extract of opium, from one to five grains (this is a valuable form, as it does not produce so much after-derangement of the nervous system as solid opium); pills of soap and opium, from five to ten grains; compound ipecacuanha powder (Dover's powders), from five to twenty grains, compound kino powder, from five to twenty grains; wine of opium, from ten minim to one dram.    Caution. — Opium is a powerful poison when taken in too large a quantity, and therefore should be used with extreme caution.    Sealing-wax (Red). — Shellac (very pale), four ounces; cautiously melt in a bright copper pan over a clear charcoal fire; when fused, add Venice turpentine, one and one-fourth ounces. Mix, and further add vermilion, three ounces; remove the pan from the fire, and pour into a mold. For a black color, use ivory black, or lampblack, instead of the vermilion; for a blue color, use Prussian blue, instead of vermilion, same quantity. Each color must be well mixed with the composition; of the lampblack, use only sufficient to color.    Small-pox — cure for. — A physician writes: I am willing to risk my reputation as a public man, if the worst case of small-pox cannot be cured in three days simply by cream of tartar. This is a never-failing remedy: One ounce of cream of tartar, dissolved in one pint of boiling water, to be taken when cold. Dose, two tablespoonfuls every two hours. It is also a preventive; dose, as before, three times a day. It has cured thousands, never leaves a mark, never causes blindness, and avoids tedious lingering.    Soup for Invalids. — Raw beef, on account of its ready digestibility, is often prescribed for invalids. Of late, European physicians have found the use of what we may call raw soup of great utility when given to patients much reduced by fevers. This soup, first proposed by Liebig, is made from finely chopped beef or fowl, recently killed. Half a pound of this meet [sic] is added to a pint and a half of distilled water (pure rain water, filtered, will answer), four drops of pure muriatic acid are added, and a teaspoonful of salt, or enough to suit the taste. After standing an hour, the whole is thrown upon a hair sieve (a flannel bag will do as well) to separate the liquid. If the first liquid which passes through is muddy, it is poured back into the strainer until what runs off is quite clear. When the liquid ceases to run, half a pint of water is added, in small quantities at a time, to the flesh in the strainer. The yield will be about a pint of a reddish colored liquid, tasting like soup, which is to be given cold, a cupful at a time, or in such quantities as the patient desires. It is claimed that this soup contains the nutritive principles of the meat not changed by heat, as they are in cooking, and that they are part ready digested by the muriatic acid, and that it is suited to the weakest digestive organs. If the red color and somewhat fleshy odor are objected to, the one may be disguised by caramel (burnt sugar) and the other by a little wine. The soup spoils readily, and in warm weather must be kept on ice.    Tape Worm. — To expel this parasite, take equal parts of tincture assafoetida and tincture absinthii, in teaspoonful doses, night and morning. No fasting is necessary.

The furnace needed to be drained. Which meant a trip down to the dark basement with a candle. When I grabbed for the candleholder, an idea hit me.


I built the candle ring. I thought a small candle would be easier to wield, so I cut the longer taper down. While cutting the candle I managed to take a slice out of my finger. I used the last bandage, must remember to go out and get some more.

I went down to the basement using the candle ring. While I was draining the furnace, noticed that the candle burnt fine titled sideways. This should have been obvious, since I turn them sideways to light them. As I tilted the candle another idea hit me.


I have yet to make the device. I'll need to pick up pieces for it. I'm going to be running around all day tomorrow, so I shall pick up the supplies Thursday.

Lake made me breakfast and coffee this morning when I woke up. When I sat down at the table, I saw a ladybug walking by my plate. I put my finger down and the ladybug crawled onto it. It walked all over my arm, checking me out. I put my finger back on the table and the ladybug crawled along on its way. It's going to be a good day.