Poll #1148168 Sin and Virtue
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

What is your favorite deadly sin?

What is your favorite holy virtue?

when i was homeless i could not stay in a shelter because i am a tranny
i felt not part of the society around me
i most hated the goody goody
the "proper and respectable"
i lurked in the shadows and stole from the shops
i snuck into buildings (trespassing) for warmth and sleep
i was neither proper nor respectable
but i felt my stealing and trespassing reasonable
i still believe they were
but the "proper and respectable" never will

i carried a lot of anger as i walked the darknesses
looking at the happy faces heading home burned my eyes red with fire
it has been long time to let go of these ancient angers
and to look now with clear eyes

i am outside me now
i see how that anger still taints my political views
i identify with the underdog
the downtrodden
i inherently distrust the proper and respectable
in the current conflict in the middle east
the palestinians and the lebanese have gone through much more strife and hardship than i ever have
and israel is the "proper and respectable"
this adds a layer of distrust to whatever it does
bush’s support drives that home
the bush administration has mastered the self-righteousness "proper and respectable"

i must observe that my emotions play in my political beliefs
my views may or may not be wrong
and after exploring them my view may or may not
but it is important for me to explore those biases
and what blindnesses those biases might be producing

if one cannot question oneself
one does not have an open mind

I know forgiveness is the best answer. I have anger deep and many grudges that I need to let go of. From then to now and the gulf in between. I need to work on forgiving those who have wronged me as I would hope those I have wronged will forgive me. True forgiveness is not forgetting and it is not easy. I need to let go of the stale anger that has tainted the decades. This is where I want to go. This is what I want to do.

Perhaps this is what I can use therapy for. I have been searching for a usefulness for it, and this is definitely something that can be moved to. And, while I have a habit of losing sight of projects easily, my therapist can help keep me on track achieve this goal. I shall bring this up on my next appointment, which unfortunately isn't until May 8^th.

A group of more than 80 powerful evangelical leaders have defied the Bush White House and called for federal legislation to curb global warming. The statement marks the first time that leading evangelicals have taken up the green issue. And it has caused splits within the religious right. They have embraced the environment in recent years, most notably with a "What would Jesus drive?" campaign against sports utility vehicles. But this is a new departure. The statement - signed by mega-church pastors like Rick Warren, author of the bestseller The Purpose-Driven Life, heads of Christian colleges and missionary organisations - puts saving "God's green earth" on a par with traditional evangelical concerns like abortion and gay marriage. full story

There is danger in blanketly labeling any group as "enemy". Even groups that generally have restricting our rights as part of their agendas. We are all part of humanity. We are all part of the Happening. Returning the hate does nothing but keep it going. If we love the Fundamentalist Christians as Christ has asked them love us, maybe they will learn by our example the peace of the message they hold sacred.

Forgiveness is a powerful thing. So powerful that it can truly startle people. The bombings and attacks on Afghanistan and Iraq were expected. While they may have scared some into submission and angered others to fight, they did not surprise anyone. If instead of attacking, the Christians in charge of the United States instead followed Jesus's advice and said "We forgive you.", it would have utterly shocked supporters of Al-Qaeda and other like-minded groups. Forgiveness would have completely baffled them, and made it very difficult for them to motivate others to kill themselves in a similar attack. September 11^th was intended to motivate the wrath of the United States, and was only made successful by the providing of that wrath.

This does not mean that if persons who aided the act are caught in the course of law enforcement that they should not be brought to justice. Rule of law must still exist, but invasion of other countries is not in the course of law enforcement. Forgiveness of the transgressions upon us by those outside our laws would keep us far safer than all the weapons in the United States arsenal.

You can only walk all over me so many times. I left the following comment here in missclover's journal:

Dear Clover, I don't know what all your crap about you wanting to be friends again at the Sinister Party several weeks ago was. The bull about you being isolated and lonely and regretful of all the rumors and gossip you spread about me a year or so ago. I forgave you, maybe a bit too hastily. Whatever game you were playing, I know now that you were in no way sincere in your "apology". I have no intention of getting involved again with the games played by you and that little clique you run around with. I should of known by the way you were still enjoying bad mouthing others, that you had not really changed. I had thought I left all this shit behind me, and for the most part I still have. I just wanted to say, please never talk to me again, even if it is to "apologize", I want no part of your manipulative games. -Beverly

I called Clover. I explained how I still like her and forgive her for everything that has happened, but I don't trust her anymore. I don't think I'll ever be able to trust her again. I explained I need friends I can trust and I'm sorry but we just can't be friends anymore. It hurt me a little. I know it hurt her, but it had to be done. I'm glad it's over with.

Clover called right before I left for therapy. She was crying, so I told her she could come over while I got ready. She says she's running out of friends and she's just now realizing why: she's talked about everyone behind their back and instigated countless petty games and feuds. She says she feels bad and is getting what she deserves now. I can't say I disagree with her. I feel sorry for her, no one should feel awful, but she made her own bed. I can forgive her, but I can never trust her again the way I used to.

Clover is coming over. We've decided to give being friends another go. I'm happy about that, because she's been a good friend in the past, and I've been sad recently not feeling free to pick up the phone and call her. Lake isn't as forgiving as me, and thinks Clover let me down at my time of need. I understand Lake is just looking out for my best interests. However, Clover is a wonderful person, and I forgive what could probably be chalked up to a wrong-place, wrong-time sort of misunderstanding. It would be a pity to throw away all our years as friends over something little. It seemed big at the time, but from where I am now I can see it wasn't that large. The friendship will take some work to mend, but I'm willing to put the effort in, if Clover is.