I'm giving up at completing NaNoWriMo. At this point, it's pretty obvious it's not going to happen. There is just no way I'm going to complete this. turil is right, I need to go about things differently. I need to set more realistic goals and take things in smaller steps.

I've given up on this attempt of Project Three Meals, but plan to start it up again later in the week. Bad start timing.

With the preparations for invalid_userid's visit along with wanting to spend time with her, I didn't get much writing done. I expect to fall quite a bit behind while she's here, but I have already planned for that and if all goes well will catch up after she leaves. While I am serious about doing NaNoWriMo this year, spending time with good friends is far more important.

Day	Words
1	1729/1667
2	1883/3333

For breakfast I had angel hair pasta in a garlic butter sauce; for lunch I had mutter paneer on rice; for dinner I had pizza, and for my healthy snack I had three mandarins. However, I didn't get any exercise and ate quite a bit of the left over Halloween candy. We only got two groups of trick or treaters, so there was a lot left over. Tomorrow is another day, perhaps the day I make this attempt work.

Tomorrow, I'm going to start Project Three Meals up again. The same as it's always been: three reasonable meals and one healthy snack – no more, no less. 30 minutes of exercise a day, minimum. Absolutely no junk food. Sounds simple, should be simple, isn't.

This of course means I won't be raiding the after-halloween candy sales this year.

I'm going to attempt nanowrimo this year. I've got a book that's been kicking around the back of my head for the last few months, and I want to get it written. I'm contemplating self-publishing it on neitherday.com if I succeed in getting the book written. Neitherday.com has been languashing for a while anyway and at this point is only a shallow echo of this journal. I'd like to actually make it into something.

Day	Words	Day	Words	Day	Words
1	1667	11	18333	21	35000
2	3333	12	20000	22	36667
3	5000	13	21667	23	38333
4	6667	14	23333	24	40000
5	8333	15	25000	25	41667
6	10000	16	26667	26	43333
7	11667	17	28333	27	45000
8	13333	18	30000	28	46667
9	15000	19	31667	29	48333
10	16667	20	33333	30	50000

1) My attempt at stopping my daily intake of caffeine a while back failed, and only took a week or so to fail. I feel hopelessly addicted. I may, however, try again at some point.

2) I have gone back to being vegetarian, no more eating seafaring, non-cephalopod, exotherms. I think I'll probably stay that way.

I was spoiled before I got to read Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. In order not to be spoiled for Deathly Hallows, I plan to stay off line starting Thursday and until I finish the book.

I made it through a day without caffeine. I've been cutting back more and more each day. Finally, I've cut it down to none, and I seem to be doing alright. My goal is not to give up caffeine completely, just to move it in line with my general drug philosophy: while using a mind altering drug is not decisional a bad thing, it is best to avoid living on mind altering drugs. As I've said before that includes everything from alcohol and tobacco to cannabis to prozac to cocaine to seroquel. And it includes caffeine.

Yesterday, as predicted, didn't work out for Project Five. For breakfast I had pizza; for lunch I had rotini and faux italian sausage in a jalapeño jack sauce; for dinner I had spaghetti in tomatoe sauce with portobello mushrooms and parmesan cheese; for my first healthy snack I had a clementine; for my second healthy snack I had tortillas with spinach and garlic hummus.

I also had a hand full of walnuts and the rest of the Godiva chocolate. Several people have argued that Godiva chocolate is a healthy snack. I'm still not ready to put it in that category – regardless, both the nuts and the Godiva were beyond the two healthy snack quota and would therefore be outside the Project Five plan whether or not the Godiva is healthy.

I didn't get my exercise in either. I need to find a good indoor exercise regimen that I can and will do.

Yesterday was Valentine's Days. purpleglitter gave me a heart of chocolates from Godiva, which is absolutely wonderful but ensures that I failed at Project Five yesterday and will again today. However, I can't entirely blame not making Project Five yesterday on the Godiva. I at a cheese danish, got no exercise, and had half a microwave pizza before bed.

For breakfast yesterday, I had pizza; for lunch I had spaghetti in tomatoe sauce with portobello mushrooms and parmesan cheese; for dinner I had arepa de choclo; for my first healthy snack I had a clementine; and for my second healthy snack I didn't have one.

I'll get back on track tomorrow.

Here I go yet again. Project Five starts tomorrow.

Three reasonable meals a day. Two healthy snacks. And, no junk food.

No more, no less.

30 minutes of exercise a day.

More of that is okay.

Not being 100% successful is okay, but strive to succeed as many days as possible. Pretty simple, only one ingredient needed: willpower.

Project Five is pretty much a modified version of Project Three Meals. Like Project Three Meals, Project Five will have three health meals a day (no more no less), as well as the same minimum of 30 minutes of exercise a day and the same ban on junk food. The difference is Project Five has 2 healthy snacks instead of 1. I think a large part of the reason I've had problems with Project Three Meals is that I get hungry in the evening and end up binging. If I allow myself an evening snack, this is less likely to happen.

I start Project Five tomorrow.

purpleglitter and I are going to start Project Three Meals together today. I've attempted to do Project Three Meals with another person before – goldmourn, long distance. However, I eat a majority of my meals with purpleglitter and spend a lot of time with her. I think that the follow through will be improved with us working together, we've always made a great team.

Same rules as before:

Three reasonable meals a day and one healthy snack. No more, no less. No junk food. 30 minutes of exercise a day.

Not meeting the goals for one day is okay, just get back on the horse. This is about improving eating and exercise habits, not perfection. However, even though perfection isn't expected it can still be strived toward.

featheredfrog convinced me that the concept of Project Schedule is fatally flawed. I'm going to find another plan, project, or paradigm that is more suited to me, my needs, and my goals.

Now that I'm nearing the end of therapy and looking to soon either go back to school or re-enter the job market, I'm going to try setting up some sort of daily schedule to prepare myself for that transition. I'll be scheduling several activities during the day, the nature of which isn't as important as the fact that I'll be doing things at scheduled times as apposed to the haphazard way I run my day now. I will, however, try to make sure that the scheduled activities are productive and/or useful as well.

I know I keep trying these "projects", but I think I'm prepared for this one now and it's time to move forward. Yes, failures happen. But if I don't keep moving ahead and trying again I will never get any further than those failures. If I'm going to change my life, I need to do this.

I get weekends off and I'm going to start with a small schedule of likely only one hour. I'll expand the schedule as I get used to having more and more structured time.

I'll be starting Tuesday.

Both goldmourn and I fell out of the last Project Three Meals, but we're going to have another try together. Like before, the goal is three reasonable meals a day and one healthy snack: no more, no less. No junk food and a minimum of 30 minutes of exercise is also required for a "successful" Project Three Meals day.

We're again making a wager as to who will have the highest total number of "successful" days, as the last wager was voided. This time the loser will read a book of the winner's choosing. I like that because the loser doesn't really lose, because they end up reading something they probably wouldn't have chosen to read thereby possibly expanding their circle of thought in an unexpected direction.

Today is the first day of the New Project Three Meals.

recoiling and I did about 4 hours of cleaning in my room. It's not done. Many times I've made significant progress only to have my room fall back before it got to the point of being clean. However, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel this time. So close I can taste it.

I'm going to clean my sheets now. I may finish the cleaning tonight or tomorrow, and if I don't recoiling will come back and help me Thursday.

I'm giving recoiling a staff as thanks for her efforts, and after she's done we're going to polyurethane it together in the playroom. She's awesome and been so incredibly unbelievably helpful. I think that my mental state will be much improved when I truly have a livable room.

I'm starting Project Three Meals again. Like before, the goal is three reasonable meals a day and one healthy snack: no more, no less. No junk food and a minimum of 30 minutes of exercise is also required for a "successful" Project Three Meals day.

Unlike before, I am not doing it alone. goldmourn and I are doing Project Three Meals together, and we've added incentive to stick to it: The person with the most successful days gets to make a post in the other's journal.

I have seen a lot of dangerous eating and diet competitions on the net, but I believe this differs from them markedly. This is not "how low can you go" and a day is marked unsuccessful for not eating a healthy amount. I think it's a fun project that will keep us both paying attention to what we eat and at the same time make sure we keep eating enough.

Guess what...

I'm doing Project Three Meals AGAIN!!

Same as before: 3 reasonable meals and 1 healthy snack, no more no less. No junk food. 30 minutes of exercise a day.

I know my success rate has not been very high in recent Project Three Meals attempts, but as I have repeatedly stated: success is to be strived for, but is not the ultimate goal. The ultimate goal is to have more control over and consciousness about what I'm eating and how much exercise I'm getting.

So, lucky 13 here we go!