It's spring and my life is waking up. Just a few years ago, my life was extremely turbulent and my mind was an unpleasant place to be in. Everything was always in flux, but far from always in a good way.

This past year has been calmer, quieter, so stable it has bordered on a bit boring. But, it's been something I needed.

Now, things are beginning to pick up again. However, this time it's different. I can feel the motion of before, but things are clearer. This past year gives me a platform from which to launch from. It has been a place of stable mind and thought that has let me ground and center. The loops are still there in the background, but I know how to work them now. I am not afraid. My eyes are opening. I am awake.

i am in a dark place tonight
i do not like this place
i am a big mean evil nasty bitch
i don't like me right now
i'm moody and irritable
quick tempered
i need to calm down
get a grip
ground and center
but i cannot find me
and if i cannot find me i cannot center me
i drift away
not in my body
not in my mind
outside of my own existence
but still a part of it
i wander always
tomorrow i'll be somewhere else