From the The Universal Household Assistant or What Every One Should Know (1884):

Household Hints. — Do not deposit wood ashes in a wooden vessel or upon a wooden floor.    Never use a light in examining a gas-meter.    Never take a light into a closet.    Never read in bed by candle or lamp light.    Never put kindling wood on top of the stove to dry.    Never leave clothes near a grate or fire-place to dry.    Be careful in making fire with shavings, and never user any kind of oil to kindle a fire.    Keep all lights as far from curtains as possible.    Always fill and trim your lamps by daylight, and never near a fire.    Good nice pie-crust can be made by always observing the following rule. One-quarter of a cup of shortening to every cup of flour used; to be mixed as dry as possible with cold water, and mixed only with a knife.    Take sweet butter only for baking purposes, and never fail to thoroughly beat together your butter and sugar, if you would be sure of good results in cake baking.    Have metal or earthen vessels for matches, and keep them out of reach of children. Wax matches are not safe.    Ground mustard mixing with a little water is an excellent agent for cleansing the hands after handling odorous substances.    Cut hot bread or cake with a hot knife, and it will not be clammy.    Salt extracts the juices of meat in cooking. Steaks ought therefore not be salted until they have been broiled.    In boiling dumplings of any kind, put them in the water one at a time. If they are put in together they will mix with each other.    Do not cut lamp-wicks, but trim them by wiping off with a scrap of paper.    Never boil vegetables with soup stock, for if you do it will certainly become sour in a short time.    Boil your cream for coffee, and see if the coffee will not taste better, as well as keep hot longer.    Pin-cushion covers made of cheese cloth embroidered and trimmed with lace, wear well and keep their looks.    Some one says that leaves of parsley, eaten with a little vinegar, will destroy the odor of breath tainted by onions.    Hot liquid lye is recommended for removing obstructions in waste pipes. Or let the potash dissolve over night in the pipes.    To wipe dust from papered walls, take a clean, soft piece of flannel. Of course it must not be damp, but the dry flannel will remove the dust.    Varnish the soles of your shoes, and it will render them impervious to dampness, and will also make them last longer. This is a good plan.    Clean the mica in stove doors with vinegar. Take clinkers out of stoves by putting a few oyster shells into the grate, when they will become loosened, and may be removed without injuring the lining.    Save the droppings from spermaceti candles, tie them in a cloth, and keep to smooth rough flat-irons.    Never starch napkins.    An old black bunting or cashmere dress may be made to serve a further period of usefulness by being made into a petticoat.    Between two evils choose neither.    Writing a will does not shorten life, and yet many men fear it will.    Save old suspender rings, and sew them on the corners of kitchen holders to hang them by. It will be easy then to flip them on to a nail, and they will not be so likely to get lost.    Powdered borax with a little sugar, blown into the cracks and crevices with a small bellows, will drive away house-ants.    Have a high stool in the kitchen to sit on when tired, to continue your work if necessary. Perched on its top you can wash dishes or iron with ease. A low stool placed on a wooden chair forms a substitute, but a poor one. A soft sheep-skin mat is restful to stand upon.    There is nothing better for cleaning brass or copper than coal ashes. They are also good to scour knives and forks with. For tin, whiting or fine sand is best.    To cleanse jars or jugs or any earthen vessel slaked lime is good, or warmed lye.    To keep a stove smooth, take a coarse and pretty large piece of flannel, roll it hard, and dip it in fine sand. Proceed to rub your stove whenever you are through cooking. Almost any stove will look better for being done the same way occasionally. Boiled starch is also very good to keep a stove looking well; put it on where it will not burn off — around the back and sides where it doesn't get very hot.

We did not venture out for most of my visit, however Friday we did go down to the capital. My sister (ellynx) gave me and Maddie a staff-led tour of the capital building. While we were were still limited to the public areas of the building, we didn't have to tag along with a tour group and were free to go at our own pace. A few of the statues in the statue gallery of the capital building surprised me, I was not expecting to see Robert E. Lee or Brigham Young.

After seeing the capital building, Christian picked us up and we all had tea at the Ritz Carlton in Pentagon City. I felt a little less Jack Dawson than I have in such settings in the past. The cakes, sandwiches and scones were delightful and the tea was great. Christian complained that the service was sub-par, however I did not notice that myself as I have no real idea of what par at the Ritz Carlton is. I enjoyed it nonetheless, and am glad I got to experience it.

After tea, we went back to the house where later in the evening Maddie made me a wonderful ice cream soup. It's been a long time since I've had ice cream soup, and I must say Maddie's was excellent.

Been riding my bike back and forth from purpleglitter's apartment several times a day. In a few minutes I'm going to take it to the post office to mail the overdue gas bill. I still need to get a lock for it so I can ride it to Davis Square. I also would like to get a light and some baskets, but those are less important. I love my bike.

I'm not taking my walks on Saturday or Friday nights anymore. Especially when the weather is this nice. There are far too many people out and about tonight. It's just not safe. I had just left when a SUV driver stared at me as he passed. As is habit, I watched to make sure he continued on his way. He didn't. He turned around and headed back. I ran into the house, shut the door, and turned off the light. I saw him pass by. And then drive by again looking for me. Mass Ave isn't safe at night. I need to make it to the side streets to know I'm safe. But, there is an allure to Mass Ave on nights unlike tonight. To be able to sit in the middle of a normally busy street with no cars in site. I love sitting on Mass Ave. I like watching it empty. There are far too many people out tonight.

I don't wander to far on Mass Ave on my 3:00am walks. I tend stick to the side streets. Much safer, because no one is there. Case in point was a 20 minutes ago. I was on Mass Ave walking back to the house. A red car passed. The driver turned and looked at me in my pink night gown and cat's eye glasses holding Lilly the (stuffed) Skunk. I watched the driver after he passed. I always make sure the cars leave my sight before I take my eyes off them. He didn't. He turned around a couple blocks down the road. I ran quickly to the house and hopped inside, keeping the light off. I saw him pass. Not seeing me he turned around again and went of in his original direction. Instincts developed during homelessness still pay off. However, I have no plans to stop my walks.

Chimed in the new year with merryperseis and purpleglitter at the Warehouse 23 New Years Party. I spent a lot of time talking with cobweb, one of the hosts and someone that I didn't see nearly enough of in 2002. Hopefully, we'll rectify that in 2003.

Warehouse 23 is incredible. A maze of passages and rooms. Trippy electronic lighting effect. Parachute tentrooms. Mirrors and blacklights. Obviously took a lot of effort, skill, and creativity to set up. Amazing, simply amazing. I could happily spend days just exploring the place.

On the chime of midnight I got kisses from both purpleglitter and merryperseis. I couldn't ask for a better way to start the year.

I gave away my first wish pods of the year to some of the various party goers and over the course of the night and acquired a sequined sparkly strip of fabric in my hair. All-in-all I had a wonderful time and am looking forward to 2003 being better than 2002.

Until today, we didn't know how to turn on the chandelier in the playroom. We thought it must be broken. However, today, purpleglitter noticed a small knob on the side of the chandelier. No one had noticed it before. I turned it, and it fell off. Fell right into a glass of cider. And since the knob is solid brass, it made quite a splash. I put it back on and turned it the other way. The chandelier came to life.

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I received two letters from vagrant in my post office box. I'm very excited to hear from her, and I hope she gets out of that place soon. It doesn't seem like she will, but I can still hope for her. I plan to send off a letter to her Monday.

I should have received her letters several weeks ago, but I haven't been checking my post office box very frequently. I should direct people send mail to my home address from now on. The post office box served a purpose before we moved. The mailbox at the old place wasn't very secure, and we had numerous instances of disappearing mail. However, here at the new house_of_clocks, that isn't an issue.

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After dropping off Mitzi in Davis Square, purpleglitter and I went to the Salvation Army Thrift Store on Winter Hill. I picked up several exciting new outfits. Everything I bought was half off! The most expensive article of clothing cost me only $2!! It was a very happy shopping experience.

It's walking distance to the T, with a bus that stops practically at the front door. Walgreens is a minute away and Arlington Center is 5. You can see Spy Pond from the sidewalk in front of the house. Hardwood everything. Beautiful lighting fixtures. Two large bathrooms. Every bedroom is huge with giant closets. Eat-in kitchen and superb livingroom. All for $1600!! Wow! Wow! I hope I'm able to secure it. I need to gather two definite yeses. Quick!

Went on a walk late last night. Left the house at 3:00am. I was dressed in my long velvet black dress, with flowing lace sleeves. A hit of red hid under more lace in the front. I packed my purse with various pills and a bottle containing a mixture of Nyquil and Robitussin in it.

Various places to actually take the pills came in mind. I decided upon the hill by the swings purpleglitter and I used to go to.

Immediately after crossing Mill Brook I was accosted by the foot stomping of a skunk. I ran the other way, into a driveway. I remained in the driveway for about 5 minutes, until I was sure the skunk was gone.

While waiting, I decided I should leave purpleglitter a message before I take the pills. I walked up to the Arlington Heights Bus Terminal to use the phone there. Instead of actually calling I kept looking at the pill bottle.

Why I actually didn't take the pills as intended I do not know. There were a lot of possible factors.

Fear, of course.

I'm don't really want to die. It's more that I don't want to live. I don't like life, things aren't going to improve, and death seems like a good option.

No individual thing I had was particularly lethal, not even the mix of Robitussin and Nyquil as it was mostly Robitussin. I was hoping that taking a great many things together would do the trick. However, I was afraid that if I took everything it would just make me extremely fucked up. The police would find me the next morning and take me into the hospital.

I went home when the lightning started up again. Unfortunately, I didn't bring a key with me. merryperseis had locked me out. I didn't want a key, because, I thought not having one would help me not chicken out.

merryperseis's light was still on, but I didn't want to knock and wake up the other roommates. So, I threw some of the pills I'd brought at her window. Apparently, they didn't make enough noise, as she didn't hear them. I ended up getting in through a window around 4:30am.

merryperseis and I had some good talks for sometime in the kitchen. She's a really wonderful person, and I'm glad she's living with us.

However, I'm still not sure that suicide isn't a good option for me. I'm not sure that it is, either. I'm scared and confused and just don't know.

I do have to learn the lessons of my last two "attempts". I need to give up the notion of a "romantic" suicide, and just do it. I am not brave enough. It's not that I don't want to die, it's just that I lack courage. Probably should just do it completely drunk. Alcohol can make up for the bravery I lack. I wanted to stare death down sober, but apparently that is not in the cards. I can't do it. Pathetic, yes. But who cares?

Another issue I need to rectify is getting some quality lethal pills in my possession. The stupid shit I have is not going to cut it. There are plenty of appropriate things over the counter. I don't want to accidentally live, end up in the emergency room and then the psych ward.

I just performed the long overdue changing of the litter. The litter is located in the closet of the big room. The big room doesn't currently have a light, so I had to change it by candlelight. Not the most romantic thing I've ever done by candlelight, but the cats should be happy.