Today marks 2 years since I was released from Cahill 3, the last time I was on a locked psych unit.
For years, I was constantly in and out of hospitals. Throughout that time I was put on various medications: prozac, geodon, seroquel, zyprexa, depakote, lithium, ativan, klonopin, celexa, zoloft, and too many others to list here.
At times, the medications seemed like it was helping, but what it was really dong was preventing me from getting better. It wasn't until I stopped taking the medications that I started truly improving. It wasn't until I stopped taking the medication that I was able to stay out of the hospital.
Mental problems need a mental solution. Mental "illness" is not like diabetes or cancer. The speculation that mental "diseases" are biologically based is just that — speculation. There is no evidence to back it up, but the idea is treated as gospel. It is more religion than science.
Without the medications obscuring my real issues or slowing my brain down to the point that thinking was a labourious activity, I was able to directly address my problems and I was able to make myself better. I've been out of the hospital for 2 years and I'm sure that if I had continued to take their drugs, I wouldn't be able to say that.
Child psychiatry researchers at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis have identified a small group of preschoolers who appear to suffer from bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness. The findings, presented this fall at the annual meeting of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, highlight symptoms that distinguish bipolar disorder from other mental health problems in very young children.
Diagnosing bipolar disorder in children is difficult because the manic phase of the illness can be confused with the more common attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). The confusion arises because mania and ADHD both involve hyperactivity, irritability and distractibility. These issues may be even more difficult in young children who display some of these behaviors and emotions normally. However, Joan Luby, M.D., an associate professor of child psychiatry, found mania symptoms, as defined by psychiatry's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-IV), did not occur in healthy preschoolers and that three main symptoms distinguished bipolar disorder from ADHD in preschoolers: elation, grandiosity and hypersexuality.
...
Researchers are comparing how well different medications and medication combinations work in making bipolar children between the ages of 6 and 15 feel better. Qualified participants are randomly selected to receive either lithium, a drug commonly prescribed for adults with bipolar disorder; valproate, an anticonvulsant drug that has been related to improvement of manic symptoms in a few smaller studies; or risperidone, an antipsychotic medication used in adults with schizophrenia that also is being tested in children with autism.
Now that they've gotten a couple drugs through the door, they're going throw the lot them of them down little kids' throats. I don't know how anyone could not see that there is something inherently wrong with giving kindergarteners antipsychotics! I'm sure having tardive dyskinesia in middle school will help their mental and emotional wellbeing immensely. The people doing this are monsters. They have no soul, at least none that I recognise. It doesn't take a doctorate to figure out that the first thing you do with a preschooler that displays "hypersexuality" should not be to drug them into submission. These kids can't say no, someone has to stand up for them! This can't continue. What the fuck is wrong with people!
“Good morning livejournal! This is neitherday, live from the madhouse. Apparently our protest worked. My friend in the wheelchair was transferred to another unit and is being treated very nice now. And is actually feeling like a human, and getting the care she needs. And on this unit, it looks like I'm getting the neurological work-up I need. I had a CAT scan today already. I will be getting an EEG, a sleep-deprived EEG, either tomorrow or Wednesday...I mean tomorrow or the next day, I think tomorrow is Wednesday, actually, so...Wednesday or Thursday I'll be getting a sleep-deprived EEG. I'm also meeting with a neurologist at some point today and then I will meet with neurologist again after the EEG. So things are actually getting done. On the medication front, I had to agree to take some medication, so...today, right now I'm on Klonopin. They tried to put me on Thorazaine, and I'm *not* going on Thorazine. No way. Thorazaine is the nastiest, the worst, the first, nastiest, and worst, and I'm not going on it. In fact, I'm not going on any antipsychotics. We're going to discuss what further meds. I told them I would consider an antidepressant, and they're suggesting I go on a mood stabilizer like Depakote or Lithium. I'm definitely not going on Depakote, but I told them I would discuss the option of Lithium, although somehow I think I'm not going to go ahead with it. And I don't like the idea, so they're going to have to put together a *really* good argument about why I should take Lithium. We'll see how that goes. I probably won't be making another post today, and I may not be making another post tomorrow, though I may if there's something important to say. Because I don't know how long I'm going to be here, and I only have 15 posts this whole month of November. And since they use Greenwich Standard Time for deciding when the month begins, my last post last night fell after midnight Greenwich Standard Time and it counts towards the month of November. So this is my second post this month, and there's 30 days in the month, so, with just 15 posts, I *really* have to start rationing. I don't anticipate being here all month, but I also don't want to run out of posts, so... The three posts a day thing is going to end. Well, actually it's been two posts the last few days, but you get what I'm saying. I have to strongly ration the amount of posts I make. If there's something important to say that I don't feel like making a voice post, I may have purpleglitter post them for me. She'll transcribe as I talk on the phone to her. It's a little more complicated to do it that way, but it may be what has to be done. I much prefer doing the phone posts. But things are looking a lot better here. I'm feeling a lot better about my care. One big issue still is that they haven't let me shave for...they didn't me shave yesterday and they still haven't let me shave today because I'm on zero sharps because I cut Sunday. And I really need to shave. I've been trying to explain, I have the right to use the woman's room. And one of their excuses was patient discomfort. So whether or not they let me shave, I'm going to still use the woman's room. I'm trying to explain to them that if I can't shave, and my facial hair starts growing out, the women in the women's room are going to be more uncomfortable, and that's going to cause more of an issue. So I'm taking the tact that this is not only about me and my appearance and my needing to shave, it's also about other patients' comfort with me, and that the comfort level of other people on the unit is going to be affected if they don't let me shave, so... Just wanted to say, our protest worked, things have improved, and hopefully I'll be out of here this week, though I can't guarantee it. My goal is to be out Friday, we'll see what happens. And hopefully I will see you on the outside some day. That is all.”
I just got back from the swings. It's a nice walk there and back as the sun's coming up. I do love swinging to the sunrise with Lake.
My feet hurt a little, as my shoes aren't fully broken in yet. Walking a distance in them does a number on the skin of the back of my heels. My bones protrude further than normal behind my feet and shoes aren't really made for that shape. I simply have to suffer the first 5 or 6 times I wear a pair of shoes.
During the walk Lake asked if we've been feeling safe lately. I told her that we did some of the time. Lake thinks we should take all our meds if we don't feel safe. I don't like all of them. I take my hormones and half of my Zoloft, but that's it. I don't really want to take the other three: Seroquel, Lorazepam, and Lithium. They make us tired and foggy. Yes, we're safer, but that's only because we can't do anything.
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Earlier today I started dancing, but soon stopped as my mood changed. I hope to dance more later today. I don't dance enough, and in a month someone will be moving into my favorite room for dancing, so I'd better enjoy it while it lasts. I'd like to keep this place for just me and Lake, but we simply can't afford it.
Petra is going to be one of our new roommates. I knew Petra back when I was homeless in Western Massachusetts years ago. She's a wonderfully original and intelligent person, and I hope she'll be an excellent roommate. Friends as roommates can have good and bad aspects. You know that you already like the person, and already know some of their issues before they move in. On the other hand, sometimes friends can be a lot different then you expected to live with, and when thing go badly you risk not only losing a roommate, but also a friendship. I've had friends as roommates turn out both ways.
accomplished
pissed off
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calm