gacked from daffidoll:

I tried out TrustFlow II for LiveJournal. The following people not on the friends list for neitherday are close by:

• psychosynthesis (750 - 800)
• robertkelley (1450 - 1500)
• softanimal, zb1 (1750 - 1800)

( More results below the cut... )

Created by ciphergoth; hosted by LShift.

TrustFlow II: Who is closest to your friends list?

Last night, after the large arguement with Bebe, I called my friend Sara and told her the room would be available at the end of the month. After everything blew over, I forgot I had made the call. Today, after I got back from lunch with sexyredrooster, I found that Sara had left a message telling me that she'll take the room and she has the money ready. With Bebe repentant and in rehab, there's no way she's moving, and I'm not kicking her out.

There is an option other than simply telling Sara the room isn't available anymore. I could rent Sara the playroom. I don't know where I'll put all the things currently in the playroom. I'll really miss the walls, which I have spread my soul upon. I love the room. It is part of me. I will miss it. But, renting it would go a long way to solving the current financial crisis. I probably should do it, even though it will break my heart. Lake has left the decision up to me.

The playroom option may be a moot point, anyway. There are two obstacles to Sara taking it if it is offered. One, Sara drives a car and we don't have any extra parking. This may be worked around, with some effort, but I'm unsure if Sara will want to deal with it. Two, the playroom is over double the size of Bebe's room, and we'd have to tack an extra $100 to what Sara expected to pay for Bebe's room to keep everything fair.

I'm going to think on what to do for an hour or so, then call Sara with the decision.

One side effect of the Risperdal has been a totally fucked up sleep pattern. I can't go to sleep unless I'm totally exhausted (like now). Either I can't stay awake or I can't go to sleep, there is no inbetween. I have a have to meet with my psychiatrist and Mandy tomorrow and pick up the rent check from Petra Wednesday. I don't know if I'll be able to pull it off. All these things are important for me to do. I need to meet with my psychiatrist and friends. I need to bring this problem up with my psychiatrist tomorrow.

Petra's okay, but she's not moving in. Her job offered her a live-in position, so she's going to take it. On the upside, she's still going to pay rent for the month. That's important, because otherwise we'd be totally screwed. We're going to get together for coffee Wednesday.

I'm starting to get worried about Petra. She was supposed to move in yesterday, and never showed up. I just figured she was busy. But, she hasn't called. Surely she'd be moving in today if she couldn't make it yesterday. Petra's a very busy person, and it might make sense for her to have had something come up yesterday. But, I haven't even been able to get in touch with her.

Lake and I went on a cleaning spree today, and as a result this place is cleaner than it has been for months (exceptions being the playroom and the big room, both of which have seen better days). It's so nice having a clean house. Well have to start keeping a tidier apartment now that Petra's going to live with us.

Just to prove to the other selves that the bingeing and purging was purely self-harm, I ate a meal after purging. Not a big meal, but more than a snack. Most people would say, "Ewwwww! How can you eat after purging?". Vomiting just doesn't gross me out, if it did I'd make a very poor bulimic.

It felt somewhat freeing to purge. I felt I was purging out a lot of my feelings with the food. Scary, because that could become an addictive reason.

I was in a bad place for three reasons:

1) I forgot to wear my 50's glasses when going out to see Petra. Shirley was wicked neurotic. She went into Osco Drugs and bought a new $12 pair of sunglasses. We only had about $40 in the bank! It was night! We couldn't wear them to the Diesel anyway!

2) I saw an old lady sitting alone on a park bench having a conversation with herself. People were just staring at her as they walked by. I though, "That's going to be me in 40 years."

3) We got nasty comments from two different groups of asshole strangers on the way home.

I just realized that I'm going to have to start locking the bathroom door again soon. While I'm too modest to use the bathroom with the door open, I don't lock the door as I don't think I'd be horrified if Lake accidentally walked in. It's so convenient to just walk in and sit, with out worrying about fiddling with the lock. When Petra and our yet-to-be-discovered roommate move in on the first, I don't think I'll be as comfortable.

I've gotten a lot done today. This afternoon I made a deal with Lake. She'll clean my playroom (which she'll do later) and I'll move everything from her office to the livingroom (because her office is about to become Petra's room). There was a lot of stuff in Lake's office. It took me two hours of almost non-stop sweaty work, but I got it done.

After that I took a nice long shower.

Late this afternoon I helped vonjenef customize her lj over yahoo messenger. Didn't help as much as I could have in person, but she is far away from here, stuck in Missouri.

This evening I added a page for Requiem for a Dream to my movie section. Lake found the links in exchange for setting up Lake's computer in the livingroom. Lake is a computer genius and perfectly capable of setting up her own computer, but she was tired out from setting up everything else for her office in the livingroom.

It might seem unfair that I still have my playroom and Lake loses her office, but there is a major advantage for her to move her office in the livingroom: it is air conditioned. In this weather that is a BIG advantage.

It was still 91°F at 8:00 when I left for Petra's house. Lake gave me a ride to Petra's place in exchange for making her biscuits and gravy in the heat. Avoided the busses, at least on the way there. When I arrived, Petra wasn't home yet. I was going to call her, so I walked to the nearest pay phone, which is in the T stop of Davis Square. When I got there, Petra was just getting out of the T stop, so phoning was unnecessary.

We walked back to Petra's place and watched some boring society film staring Gillian Anderson. I missed about half of it, as is often the case with movies. It does make rewatching movies more interesting, as I often see scenes I didn't see the first time around.

Petra is excited to be moving in. I'm excited to have Petra moving in. She's a wonderfully fun person to be around. Now we just have to find someone for the big room.

Took the bus home. It was not air conditioned, but the windows were open. It was barely bearable.

Got home, sat in the air conditioning to cool off. Spent some time with my Lake. Went to be around midnight.

Up this morning around 9. Code red is no longer a problem, but my host's e-mail servers are having problems with the backlog. The weather is shaping up to be much nicer today. This time yesterday it was already unbearable.

Going to make breakfast for Lake and I in a minute. Tofu pups. Not an ambitious meal to cook, but it's what Lake wants.

Today has gone well for the most part. I've spent most of my day watching TV and playing with Lake in the newly air conditioned rooms. Since the room with my computer in it isn't air conditioned, I've been avoiding it.

Code Red seems to have abated. However, we're going to wait until tomorrow to switch back to our regular e-mail.

I did get two new scratches today. Nothing I'd really call a cut, just scratches. One on my chin from hugging Madeleine when she was in a bad mood. Another, self-inflicted with a wish pod. I guess I should make a wish with it now that it has been anointed in blood.

Both of those events were minor, and I want to reiterate that we've had a pretty nice day for the most part. Later I'm venturing out into the heat to Petra's house to watch movies. I know that's insane. I know I'll be dizzy and dripping in sweat by time I get there. I know I should just stay home and relax, but I want to get out.

The biggest thing I don't like about going out on the busses on days like this is the damn drivers that refuse to use the air conditioner and insist on locking the windows shut. It's like traveling in a crowded sauna.

Regardless of the heat and the buses, I'm excited about going out and seeing a friend. It is something we don't do nearly enough.

I just got back from the swings. It's a nice walk there and back as the sun's coming up. I do love swinging to the sunrise with Lake.

My feet hurt a little, as my shoes aren't fully broken in yet. Walking a distance in them does a number on the skin of the back of my heels. My bones protrude further than normal behind my feet and shoes aren't really made for that shape. I simply have to suffer the first 5 or 6 times I wear a pair of shoes.

During the walk Lake asked if we've been feeling safe lately. I told her that we did some of the time. Lake thinks we should take all our meds if we don't feel safe. I don't like all of them. I take my hormones and half of my Zoloft, but that's it. I don't really want to take the other three: Seroquel, Lorazepam, and Lithium. They make us tired and foggy. Yes, we're safer, but that's only because we can't do anything.

--
Earlier today I started dancing, but soon stopped as my mood changed. I hope to dance more later today. I don't dance enough, and in a month someone will be moving into my favorite room for dancing, so I'd better enjoy it while it lasts. I'd like to keep this place for just me and Lake, but we simply can't afford it.

Petra is going to be one of our new roommates. I knew Petra back when I was homeless in Western Massachusetts years ago. She's a wonderfully original and intelligent person, and I hope she'll be an excellent roommate. Friends as roommates can have good and bad aspects. You know that you already like the person, and already know some of their issues before they move in. On the other hand, sometimes friends can be a lot different then you expected to live with, and when thing go badly you risk not only losing a roommate, but also a friendship. I've had friends as roommates turn out both ways.