My flight from Chicago to Saint Louis was delayed and took place after the sun had gone down. In the air, I looked down and saw all the cities lit in the bright yellow street lights that are most commonly used now. I thought to myself... "shining cities of gold". I could not think of a more accurate description of what I saw below me. I was struck in awe.

The sight is grand, and in part it is such sites that lead humans to believe they are above nature. Above the All. Much like Yzordderrex, these cities of gold are an imitation to the Great City of Gold that is both God and God's city, that is the Universe of a uncountable number of shining suns. It is a pale imitation we have built here on our rock, and even the smallest of those suns far outshine all of our cities together.

Many would fashion humanity collectively as the new demiurge, above the All as true masters and creators of the universe surrounding them. But, humans only have the ability to change what is already here, we cannot create. We are but a small part of the Everything and therefore cannot rival the Universe, we cannot be greater than Everything. When we look in awe at the works of humanity, it is important to keep in mind the scale of the Universe and our place in relation to it.

2mg of klonopin
2mg of ativan
i should be asleep soon
but for now some stream of consciousness
i had a good day
except for all the hiding under the covers
i sleep a lot
sleeping is like hiding
i have strange dreams
but reality is surreal, too
i don't know where i'm going
i thought i had my bearings
but i seem to have lost them again
must get back on course
i need to do something
i need to be doing something
i'm lost
i'm very lost
i don't know who i am anymore
i once wrote a letter to myself
but i lost it
i don't remember what it said
i was supposed to read it
it told me who i was
but now i don't know
it's been a long time
a very long time
and i'm still searching
for something i may never have had
questions
i'm going to be 30 very soon
three decades
what have i done with my time?
glass prisms in the window
streetlights shine outside
the night is calm
i want to go to spy pond
but too late for that
pills pills pills
i wish i had some pot
i would so love to get stoned
or drunk
or anything really
acid or ecstasy would be nice
find out stuff
i want to find the answers
i didn't meditate tonight
should have
too late now
i'll remember to do that tomorrow
tomorrow
gotta deal with the bank and phone company tomorrow
fun fun
someday i'll get the phone reconnected
i also need to get the party invites sent out
gather up email addresses
i'm going to go to sleep now
sleep
sleep
sleep
good night

Spy Pond is absolutely breathtaking right now. I sat on a snowcovered bench and watched the lights on the far side of the pond poke gently through the mists rising above the rippling water. Everything about the outside is beautiful right now. Gentle unblemished snowdrifts. Waves of snow flowing over silent streets lit by the soft glow of the ever faithful streetlamps above. I would stay out there for hours if it weren't for the relentless bite of the bitterly cold winds. The blizzard absolutely raging right now. Glorious in its fury. Definitely worth the venture out.

Note to self: The next time you see fit to run off into a blizzard in the middle of the night for no particularly good reason, wear gloves.

cheybean and purpleglitter spent the night last night. We watched Titanic, which cheybean had never seen before. I had a wonderful time while they were here, but both left in the afternoon. This evening, the house_of_clocks is a very lonely place to be. I find myself eating the leftover junkfood from last night and moping around the dark corridors. The howling wind is rattling the windows which through I peer at damp snow falling below the dreary streetlamps. I have wrought my own fate. It is my own fault I am secluded here tonight. I think I'm going to make myself a warm cup of tea and engulf myself in the pages of The Neverending Story.