For breakfast yesterday, I had a fried egg sandwich with mozzarella and cheddar on a toasted focaccini roll; for lunch I had pizza; for dinner I had spaghetti in a tomatoe sauce with parmesan, mushrooms, olives, and peppers; for my healthy snack I had pumpkin seeds. Not to much different than the day before. However, I ate a several unhealthy snacks including chai cake and mustard won ton chips. I also only got in a 15 minute walk instead of the 30 minutes of exercise I need.

We did not venture out for most of my visit, however Friday we did go down to the capital. My sister (ellynx) gave me and Maddie a staff-led tour of the capital building. While we were were still limited to the public areas of the building, we didn't have to tag along with a tour group and were free to go at our own pace. A few of the statues in the statue gallery of the capital building surprised me, I was not expecting to see Robert E. Lee or Brigham Young.

After seeing the capital building, Christian picked us up and we all had tea at the Ritz Carlton in Pentagon City. I felt a little less Jack Dawson than I have in such settings in the past. The cakes, sandwiches and scones were delightful and the tea was great. Christian complained that the service was sub-par, however I did not notice that myself as I have no real idea of what par at the Ritz Carlton is. I enjoyed it nonetheless, and am glad I got to experience it.

After tea, we went back to the house where later in the evening Maddie made me a wonderful ice cream soup. It's been a long time since I've had ice cream soup, and I must say Maddie's was excellent.

stolen from definatalie and existentialista

Look at your LJ "interests" list. If you have fewer than 50 interests, pick every fifth one. If you have between fifty and seventy-five interests, pick every seventh one. If you have over seventy-five interests, pick every tenth one. If you have fewer than ten, pick all of 'em. List them on your LJ, and tell everyone exactly what it is about these things that interests you so much.

bad jokes – I tell them all the time, just ask the many tortured people around me.
chaos magick – Chaos is something I'm very in tune with. It is madness, but not without reason. What better way for me to work magick?
cut-ups – I use cut-ups regularly for inspiration in writing poetry. I've even written several cut-up engines.
etymology – The evolution of language is interesting and ongoing. The way words move through time is very telling of how people think.
healing – I'm trying to get better on many fronts. It's slow, but I've been making progress.
kissing – Kissing is wonderfully versatile. It can be a subtle peck or a passionate oral dance and anything inbetween. It can lead to other things or be wonderful on it's own. Many of my most memorable nights have been largely spent participating in this activity.
masala tea – My favorite hot caffeinated beverage. Coffee is stronger, but masala tea tastes better.
mp3s – I finally have my music back. I have many thousands of these files, and yet I still feel as if I need more.
pastels – While I've been doing more of my art electronically lately, pastels are still my physical medium of choice.
prime numbers – The basic elements of the numbers and thus of mathematics and thus of physics and thus of the universe. How could one not be interested in them?
sandman – I love the Sandman comics, though have unfortunately not had the opportunity to read the entire series. I want more.
spironolactone – Keeps me from producing lots of testosterone.
tabby cats – mazzycat is a tabby. She's fabulous.
trees – Starflower likes to hug them. I think they're beautiful and amazing.
∞ – Infinity and its symbol played a very important role in purpleglitter's and my trips together in the mid nineties.

I'm going to try to stay up all day as well so I don't want to mess up my sleep schedule. If I go to sleep now, I'll be all out of whack. Red bull, tea, and coffee are my friends.

i'm staying up all night so i can meet merryperseis at south station at 8:15. i feel like a zombie. i'm drinking lots of tea and coffee. to make matters more complicated, i only took half of my evening dose of geodon, because i ran out. i'm incredibly twitchy. i'm determined to make it until morning. staying up all night is something i want to do. it's been so long since i've done it. i don't know if i should be doing it without my full course of geodon, but that's what i appear to be doing.

Christmas was great. Spent the day with purpleglitter and merryperseis. We sat around our foundling tree in the morning and opened presents while drinking tea and cocoa. I got a bunch of purses purpleglitter made by hand for me. purpleglitter also got me a subscription to Scientific American, soap, and made me a recipe database. merryperseis gave candy and a pre-registration to Anime Boston and candles. From merryperseis's mom I got a small stuffed Canadian goose, which completely my collection of totem animals (my other totem animals are the raccoon, squirrel, and skunk).

For Christmas dinner, merryperseis took purpleglitter and I out to the Chai Café for Indian food. Not traditional, I know, but Indian food is fabulous for any occasion. After dinner we headed over to purpleglitter's apartment to watch Rudolph, during which I fell asleep.

All in all I had a wonderful Christmas.

up early this morning
didn't get much sleep
went to bed around 3 woke up around 6
3 hours
but i haven't been able to get back to sleep
i could take some benzos
but i took enough ativan last night
i don't want to take too much
i don't want to get hooked
with the amount of benzos i'm given that is a real possibility
if i took all the klonopin and ativan i get i'd be a serious addict
i have enough benzos to comfortably sleep my life away
and sometimes i think that's just what they want me to do
won't be as much a bother that way

i should make some tea
i already had a cup of coffee
a cup of tea
maybe then take an ativan
for that all-out zombie effect
uppers and downers
eyes deep sorrow
time for a reboot

We have a new roommate: ivyvigne! He's genderqueer, genderfuck and don't really care which pronoun is used for them, so i'll use he for now, and maybe switch later. We had tea and long conversations on a variety of topics on the back porch. I can tell he's someone I'll really get along with. Yay! That's one worry down.

therapy didn't go so well
i got really disoreantated
ended up on the floor
left early
things got better from there
met kaiaroo at tealux in harvard square
mellowed out at her house
after i got back to arlington, purpleglitter and we had red bulls at spy pond
i fed the geese
they all came running out of the water
been here at purpleglitter's most of the evening
i may bring mazzycat over for a visit with madeleinecat in a couple days
all in all
apart from therapy i had a pretty good day

at 9:00 i'm taking a hit of ecstasy
i'm a bit nervous about it
but i'm also excited
i've done it 3 times before
i'm looking to write write write
so look for some interesting posts tonight
that is if it works
i'm hoping to free myself
to open myself up
i'm worried that i might open myself up too much
bring something out that i can't deal with
but in some ways that's what i want to do, too
i want to bring up the things i'm too afraid to face
i want to bring up the dark monsters
because while i'm on ecstasy they're not dark
they lose their bite
the problem is that they'll still be there when the drug wears off
i plan on taking a klonopin and sleeping
going over everything that i experience in the morning
by way of my writing
for now, i need some tea

merryperseis made the most wonderful chai cake out of the blue. Spicy frosting and garnished with dates. It's delicious. purpleglitter is on her way over to sample it. I don't think the cake will last long, however merryperseis has promised to bake it again.

I need to get a new keyboard. I spilt tea on my old one several weeks ago. I've been borrowing merryperseis's keyboard to use my computer. However, there are times, like now, that merryperseis needs her keyboard, leaving me to type this message in Character Map.

The storm has started back up again. I just watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer with merryperseis. I'm sitting here with a cup of hot tea.

-----

I'll be on my way back to purpleglitter's apartment soon. Tomorrow will be our 9 year anniversary. December 8^th, 1994, she made faces at me from outside the window of the Haymarket Café in Northampton. I made faces back. Little did we know how much those funny faces would change our lives.

The snow has stopped. Outside is a wonderland. Snow makes everything so beautiful. merryperseis is downstairs making cinnamon toast. I'm going to make some tea. Today is going to be a good day.

hello out there. i'm very twichy. i'm shakey and sweaty. everything is hot and cold and dizzy and there are blinking windows at the bottom of the screen an i don't know how to click them. ability is fleeting. i can do a little bit sometimes. lake is making coffee. i had some tea earlier. maybe i should take my PRNs. where are you? who am i talking to? everyone? no one? myself, when i read this later? All of the above? my legs are shaking the desk. the monitor is bouncing up and down. and the window is still blinking. i can just move my fingers and eyes. i'm going to ask lake to save the message for me. i don't think i can figure out how.

My keyboard broke. I broke it. I spilt tea on it. I am borrowing merryperseis's keyboard for the time being. Her computer is still not connecting to the net, so she uses my computer to get online, therefore we both benefit from the keyboard being in here. I'm sure she'll take it back to her room if she needs to do something on her computer. Right now we'll probably just have to share it. Hopefully I can replace the keyboard soon.

Poll #170155
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

What is your preferred source of caffeine?

I went over nchanter’s house last night to for a movie gathering. We watch the Count of Monte Cristo. Some parts of the movie were very well done, others were a bit cheesy. Overall, it is definitely worth watching.

After the movie, I walked to the bus stop with someone I hope is a new friend, rekling. I think I may ranted a bit much, but I don’t think I scared her away. Hopefully we’ll have coffee or tea sometime in the near future.

I stopped taking my Gabitril about a week ago. I couldn't get to sleep at all when I was on the stuff. That's especially bad, since it was prescribed to me as a sleep aid (yes, I know it's usually prescribed as an anticonvulsant or a mood stabilizer). I've been sleeping much better since I started taking it. In fact I've had very excellent sleep the last few nights (with the exception of that dream). If anything, I'm falling to sleep too early, missing my 3:00am walks. Maybe I should just drink more tea.