I sincerely doubt that any chemist, psychiatrist, or dope peddler could find a more effective antidepressant than a good cigar.

I'm back in Boston. I had a great deal of fun with My sister, niece, brother-in-law, and mom. Maddie is a little ball of energy. Well, not little, she's quite big for a 7 year old. Smart and creative, but I just can't keep up with her.

The day I arrived, Thursday, we pretty much stayed around the house and relaxed. My mom had already been there for several days and was already settled in.

Friday, Christian stayed home while Maddie, Bridgette, my mom, and I went down to Georgetown. We hit Lush and Godiva and went to Dean & Deluca for lunch. While I've seen central meter machines in parking lots, I'd never seen a central machine for street parking before. I guess it is more efficient than having a separate parking meter for each spot, I'm just not used to it. The biggest disadvantage I see with the central machine system is that if it breaks down it disrupts the use of a number of parking spots at once.

Saturday we drove into Virginia through wine country and went to Linden Vineyards (nothing to do with Second Live). That was my favorite part of the trip down. Relaxing doesn't even begin to describe the place. Surrounded by rows of grapes and vine watching the clouds shadow-dance on the Blue Ridge Mountains. The cigar Christian gave me to smoke at the vineyard not only went perfectly with the cheese and wine, but also with the surrounding tranquility.

Sunday, I got up later than I had planned, but not so late that it caused any hassle in catching my flight. Upon leaving, Christian gave me some cigars, along with a 15-pack of Rocky Patel vintage 1992s, one of my favorites. My mom gave me a wonderful dragon cane when I arrived at the house and I was a bit worried about getting on the flight with 2 canes, but I didn't have any hassle and the return trip from Reagan National to Logan went smoothly.

I had hoped to get some good bird pictures, but unfortunately my birding camera is not working. I noticed it my first day there. It seems to be a connection problem with the battery prongs, which should be repairable. But, I was glad to see that Maddie loved birds and birdwatching despite her father's hatred of them.

Why is cigarette smoking banned in most public places, while heavy perfume use remains completely acceptable? Most perfumes contain a mess of toxic chemicals known to cause a variety of health problems from weakening the immune system to cancer.

"Freedom of expression" isn't anymore valid with perfume than it is with smoking. Some people think smoking looks cool, some people think smoke smells good (I personally love the smell of tobacco smoke). So "personal expression" just doesn't cut it. The only difference I can see between air-choking perfume and second-hand smoke is political.

I made it through a day without caffeine. I've been cutting back more and more each day. Finally, I've cut it down to none, and I seem to be doing alright. My goal is not to give up caffeine completely, just to move it in line with my general drug philosophy: while using a mind altering drug is not decisional a bad thing, it is best to avoid living on mind altering drugs. As I've said before that includes everything from alcohol and tobacco to cannabis to prozac to cocaine to seroquel. And it includes caffeine.

For breakfast yesterday I had rotini and faux italian sausage in a jalapeño jack sauce; for lunch I had a veggie burger with cheddar; for dinner I had french bread pizza topped with faux italian sausage; for my first healthy snack I had a clementine; for my second healthy snack I had pumpkin seeds.

I got in plenty of exercise with a non-direct cigar walk to Stop & Shop.

Success.

For breakfast yesterday I had mixed pasta in a jalapeño jack and parmesan sauce, for lunch I had 1¹/₂ 7-layer burritos from Taco Bell (mmm... lettuce), for dinner I had spaghetti in a tomatoe sauce with zucchini, mushrooms, carrots, peppers and parmesan cheese. For my first healthy snack I had cashews, for my second I had a clementine. I completed my exercise quota in the form of a cigar walk to Stop & Shop.

ganked from many:

On the twelfth day of Christmas, neitherday sent to me...

Twelve squirrels suffering

Eleven strings writing

Ten crows a-kissing

Nine cats birdwatching

Eight trees a-scrying

Seven cigars a-walking

Six politics a-nothing

Five ci-i-i-ivil liberties

Four zebra finches

Three haunted houses

Two psych wards

...and a luna in an astronomy.

Get your own Twelve Days:

Yesterday I had a faux shrimp cocktail for breakfast, faux turkey on a focaccini roll with mayo for lunch, and for dinner I had breadsticks covered in mozzarella cheese. For my first healthy snack I had cashews, for my second I had an orange.

I got in plenty of exercise. I took an hour-long cigar walk, then ended up taking a 30 minute walk with electricube as she pushed her new craigslist kickass moped to Alewife. Later I took a short 10 minute walk around Spy Pond with sophiaserpentia. All together, I more than fulfilled my 30 minute exercise quota, but it was such a nice day out yesterday it practically felt like cheating.

On my cigar walk this morning i realized two things. The first was that today is the last day of amnesty month at the library, I best be returning that last book today. I forgot the other thing I realized, but I have a feeling it was important.

I did notice that the trolls are out in reality, I saw a graffito of the URL to goatse along the bike trail up past Arlington Center.

While I have enjoyed cigars for years, it is only recently that I have had the opportunity and pleasure to explore the world of fine cigars. Before I had been for the most part limited to Garcia y Vega and Phillies, with the occasional Cheap Bastard. I proclaimed myself to follow Mark Twain's philosophy of cigars, but it was more out of sour grapes than a true knowledge and assessment of the subject.

The more I explore the more I find my tastes weren't what I had expected them to be. I am rapidly developing a preference for the flavor of maduro cigars. I still like the flavors found in the lighter tones, but i am increasingly enchanted by the rich, almost romantic earth tones found in the maduro.

I am very lucky to have the opportunity to explore the world of cigars and am very thankful to Christian for keeping me in stock.

My dad:

His surgery went fine and should be out in time to vote straight Republican. They are going to put the second stint in next Monday. Things are looking good and he appears very willing to give up cigarettes.

Me:

I do not have Behçet's disease (with about a 95% certainty). However, he was cautious about the" ulcerations" on my tongue and suggests that I get a biopsy after I get a teeth cleaning. He did not have a suggestion as to what they might be looking for with a biopsy. I've had the ulcerations on my tongue for as long as I can remember, the one dentist I asked said I must be biting my tongue in my sleep. I accepted that then, but now am questioning that assessment.

Of course, since the doctor I saw today is an Behçet's expert and outside my normal insurance it would make sense to attempt to find the care in-network. I'm not even sure if this is where I want to put my energy: if the weird tongue issues are not connected, I'd rather concentrate on the vertigo.

My therapist cancel yesterday because she didn't think it was a good idea for her to have sessions on Yom Kippur. I don't mind her taking the day off, but I would have preferred her to have made that decision last week when we scheduled the appointment instead of waiting until 3 hours before our 5pm appointment to cancel.

Next Monday is Genocidal Asshole Day, so I won't have therapy again until the 16th.

-----

I'm again questioning the very concept of going to therapy. It's not really helping me figure out anything more than a nice walk with a good cigar does. I've been wavering on this issue for some time. Part of the reason that I've been riding the fence is that I know if I stop seeing my current therapist, there's a good chance I'll never set foot in a therapist's office again. I trust my therapist even while I have a distrust for the mental health industry in general. It would be extremely difficult for me to become comfortable with someone else at this point. I don't know if I could convince myself that it would be worth the effort.

I have reluctant to shut the door, but it may be time to do so.

Just got back from a wonderful walk around Arlington. As I currently don't have a battery for my camera, I brought a cigar instead. A fine cigar goes well with a good walk the same way a fine wine goes well with a good meal.

As much as I thought Ontario was beautiful, nothing can compare to or rival New England. The more I really spend time just being in and observing Arlington, the more I realize that this is my home. If I move, I do not want to move to any other town.