waiting in the dark for sleep to find me
i hear them
i hear them talk
they talk not to me
they just talk
they seem so familiar
and yet i do not know them
they are all around me
and yet i do not see them
perhaps they are manifestations of a new and slow creeping madness
or perhaps they are but fore-echoes of dream
i do not know

i fear spending the rest my years sitting in a corner mumbling nonsense to myself
or drugged out of my mind — a drooling vacant zombie
for now, let them be dreams

dicotomygrrl took me to see Donnie Darko last night in Coolage Corner. I'd never seen it before.

( spoilers )

i went downstairs to get a better view. apparently a motorbike was involved. i'm not sure what happened, but the rider is sitting up on the side of the road and while i can't tell the extent of his injuries, they do not appear to be severe.

the accident occurred just as i was posting that i would like to just take off and leave. go somewhere new and start over. or maybe make my journey north and find my destiny.

north, it's been a long time since i heard that call. i don't know if it was some sort of psychotic symptom or real, but that's where the spirit or voice or whatever it was told me to go. it's been a decade since i've heard that call. to nunavut on the shore of the hudson bay on the winter solstice. even if it was real, i don't know if what's there is anything for me there anymore. but i still think about making the journey. finding out if it is real, even if i don't end up coming back.

i don't know what sort of omen the timing of the accident to that thought process is. quite odd. quite odd indeed.

Back from the water tower. The sunrise was wonderful. It's a 20-25 minute uphill hike to the water tower, but well worth it. From the water tower you can see the entire skyline of Boston cast in marvelous shades of green, purple, and pink. The water tower itself is beautiful as well. Not one of those white-painted metal blimp water towers, but a beautiful round structure of granite and limestone.

Coming back I had a bit of a disturbing experience. My vision started getting blurry. Then my eyes began involuntarily flickering. I heard a voice say "You think that was odd?" and suddenly I went from being near the top of the hill to being near the bottom. I can't imagine what could possibly have been a trigger. At least, I traveled in the direction that I had wanted to.